04/24/09

I wake up to big, thick, curly, brown hair

 It’s fairly long and tangled

 I manage to get it back into pig tales

Or just one ponytail

Yet I am unhappy with my foolish hair

Ever since I was little I’d complain,

“I wish I had straight hair!”

Then I got a little older and thought,

I want it to be long, sleek, and black

Though my desire for straight hair remained

Until finally I figured an odd solution

Braids

I wore my annoyingly long, thick, curly, brown hair

in braids (get that straight, no cornrows… blech)

It was rare you’d ever see me wear my mess of hair down

And if I did I knew what they’d all say

She needs to brush her hair! or

Ew, her hair is frizzy!

I cried and fussed over my hair

I’d take a look in the mirror

And wish I was that girl, the girl who had the world

All with the help of her hair and beauty

Just last year I took a risk

And chopped several inches off of my long, thick, curly, brown hair

I felt like a goddess

Finally, something new

Something different

2009 wrapped around the corner and it was time for a trim

Though the woman straightened my hair during the process

I was anxious, curious even

When she finished, I looked in the mirror

And I cried

I felt so odd and out of place

I felt ugly

And I felt like a fake; this wasn’t me

All but one small section of that straight hair vanished

And my curls were back

I started to love those curls

Then the cycle started to repeat its self

Though I didn’t necessarily want straight or long hair

Just something less curly or a big messy bob

I told people,

“I wish I could just take scissors and chop away these curls.”

They laughed

At what I said and others laughed at my “tangled” curls

I was getting so sick and tired of people telling me to brush my hair

What they don’t understand is, if you brush ethnic hair 24/7

It is nothing more than hideous fuzz

One day I pleaded to my mother to cut my hair

But really, it was just a thought that wasn’t going to happen…

Quite yet

I look in the mirror, frustrated thinking,

Why am I stuck with these curls?