“At every occasion I’ll be ready for the funeral.”

First off, I can tell you that it is absolutely, positively impossible for me to get through a day without having one bad feeling. Having said that, I can also tell you this: I have made it through another treacherous week. There have been bad days, and for a while I had forgotten what that feels like, and good days (mainly good bus rides home). I have learned how to tell people they are annoying me in Latin and about a few mythological Greek demi-gods and kings and gotten a couple terrible grades in geography and science. So now I will go over the highlights and not so great parts of my week.

Sunday night I missed dinner because I was busy talking to Elisha of HOLY Mountain, a really great local band here, on AIM. Somehow we got to talking about music being expensive and money being tight. I told Elisha I would be at their show on the 22^nd (at my favorite venue even) and he said to meet him after the show at their merch table and he’d give me a copy of their CD/demos. I thanked him but told him I already had a copy of it (I’ve listened to it a gazillion times) but he said he’d have a surprise for me anyway but I had to come get it. (Now this may sound creepy but I will remind you they are nice Christian boys and I saw them hug their dad at their last show inside the gymnasium of a church, mind you.)

On Monday I found out I definitely need glasses because I am near-sighted and will be ordering them as soon as I decide on the frames. By the time we left the eye doctor it was almost afternoon so my mom let me skip school.

Tuesday at school I had to make up some work in geography and missed one answer to get a grade of C. I found out Liz Lee had covered the song “The Funeral” by the Band of Horses on My Life As Liz, so I listened to the original version and found a download of Liz’s version as well. That night I asked my mom if she was happy and she listed off a lot of things that made her happy but also things that made her sad.

Today, Friday started out alright Latin was good like always, I tried and failed weekly the geography test. I left school and had a great bus ride home. I kept repeating, “Did I tell you I was a wizard?” My friends and I made up nicknames and now I shall be known as Rhimenosaurus. Afterwards, my dad and I picked up gelatos and I finally received my April issue of AP magazine in the mail. Up until now I was in a great mood then I found out My Chemical Romance had let their drummer, Bob Bryar go recently. Now I feel sort of unsettled.

And somehow I’m making it through this mess.

Did we all fall down?

I was listening to “Desert Song” by My Chemical Romance and that song completely renewed my love for them. I like The Black Parade and Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, but those two albums just aren’t the same as I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. Raw emotion is spilled into each song, and Gerard’s voice sounds amazing. He sounds angry and well… unhappy; if that’s what it takes to write a sad song then My Chem do a pretty good job. (Especially in “Early Sunsets Over Monroeville” which is definitely one of my favorites.)

Sometimes I like lying on the disgusting carpeted floor in my room. I’m either listening to music or thinking. When I heard the sound of the E minor cord on guitar I knew it could be none other than “Desert Song”. Gerard’s voice sounding deep comes in letting each word drag on. And let me just say, the word “morgue” never sounded so appealing until I heard this song. No, it isn’t just because Gerard was singing it, but he sort of romanticized death in this song. He sounded wonderfully pained if that doesn’t sound too confusing.

Well after all, we’ll lie another day
And through it all, we’ll find some other way
To carry on through cartilage and fluid
Well did you come to stare or wash away the blood?

later going on to

From the lights to the pavement
From the van to the floor
From backstage to the doctors
From the earth to the morgue,
Morgue,
Morgue,
Morgue.

There isn’t a meaning to this post, I was only sharing my opinion.

Who Watches The Watchmen?

03/08/09

Who watches the Watchmen?

I did. Though I missed the premiere on Friday, I made it to a matinee show Sunday afternoon. –I usually loathe Sundays, I find them miserable. Knowing that another week of school starts the very next day. Back to the movie.– I am a superhero movie geek. I’ve seen every Spider Man movie, most of the X-Men films, Electra, Dare Devil, Superman Returns, Batman Begins , Batman: Dark Knight, (In fact, when I was around five and seven, I used to watch the “Batman Beyond” series. For for Christmas last year, one of the gifts I received was the first PG-13 Batman cartoon movie! “Batman: Gotham Knight”.) Iron Man, Hellboy, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and Wanted. Though I am yet to see “Push” and interested in the new “Wolverine” movie they have in store for us later this year!

Fresh out of reading the graphic novel I remembered just about everything. Seeing scenes from the movie and the book collaborate together. The special effects made certain things stand out, the most noticeable being their costumes. The patterns and nutural matalic colors on Nite Owl and Ozymandias suits were simply neat. Doctor Manhattan’s glow of energy was almost a soft neon blue in a way. It made me think the things he’d touch would feel a slight electric shock. The actors and actresses looked almost exactly alike to their characters in the book. Malin Åkerman was the perfect woman to play the Silk Spectre. Although her costume was revealing, I loved the patent shine. Rorschach was my favorite character and still remains my favorite character. I found that I became addcited his edge, his merciless personality, and his black and white shape changing mask. The quote that I can remember most of Rorschach’s is also my favorite. “All the whores and politicians will look up and shout, ‘Save us!’… and I will whisper, ‘No.’” The film production of “Watchmen” stayed true to the book down to certain quotes from the characters, but minor scenes were rearranged and taken out. Most importantly, the ending was changed. I do miss the newspaper stand parts which would include another comic that vaguely relates to the some of the plot.

Watchmen opens up with small bits of the past. Shots of the original Watchmen. Pictures being taken. The actual move begins with The Comedian’s death. His death was precise and the track that was playing during that scene was Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” made it seem elegant in a twisted way. The Comedian put up a pretty good fight before he was thrown out a window. Though what do you expect? He’s six foot two and more than two hundred pounds of muscle. The movie basicly revolves around his death, opening up into inner and outter conflict that the characters have.

I never had payed much attention to the doomsday clock in the novel, but now that I look over the chapters it shows a small picture of it in each illustration of the chapters. The director captured each character so precisely. From their look so their inner fear, struggles, misunderstandings, and personality. While reading “Watchmen” I found it hard to relate to Dr.Manhattan because he was treated like a god, yet he couldn’t relate nor understand human beings. In the film, I became much more attached to him for a number of reasons (and no, not because he was nude… *awkward silence*). First of all the actor who played Doctor Manhattan was Billy Crudup who happened to be Russell from “Almost Famous“. I have a favorite quote of his as well *wink*. “She is beautiful. After each long kiss, she plants a smaller, gentler one upon my lips, like a signature.” They kept this in the movie and I was thrilled about this.

“Watchmen” is filled with non-stop violence and action that can be painful to watch, yet leaves you waiting for the next scene whether it’s chilling and gut-wrenching (I cringed once or twice) or a kissing scene that could possibly turn into a sex scene. The emotion I felt while in the theatre at times was overwhelming for me. Without reading the book most things will take you by surprise and leave you pondering later on. It is complex and confusing and I don’t know how many people are able to put the events together to find who The Comedian’s killer is.

Walking out of the theatre dazed, mouthing the lyrics to My Chemical Romance’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row”. The first word that entered my mind was brutal (Don’t you love that word?) All in all, the graphic novel and the movie are pure brilliance. Allan Moore is a genious for even thinking of an idea for a book so strangely intricate that unfolds and leaves you thinking. (I think you readers are growing tired of my variations of the word “complex”.) This is by far the best superhero movie I have ever seen and maybe even the best superhero movie ever made. FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS.

Mikey Way’s Wife

One afternoon while coming down to my chilled basement of course to log on to the computer, I checked my email. Now in my inbox I had an email titled, “Mikey Way’s wife…” The first time I saw if I thought it said “Mikey Way’s life…” and let out gasp thinking he had died. Instead it was an email from my mother. She knows the My Chemical Romance obsesser that I am and told me a woman whom she works with used to go to school with her. Now this may be cool or uninteresting, but hey, I’m just here to write, so don’t hate on Mikey or the band. –The woman’s name is Tracey, and I’m guessing she is like 27 years old and what a teeny thing she is! Tracey has auburn, chin length hair, has great bone structure in her face, and has I’m guessing a small five foot five frame. She came with my mom, Roxann, and I to the Buzz Stole Christmas concert back in December.– Anyway, Alicia Simmons, Mikey’s wife, went to the same high school. My mom said Tracey thought she was a bit strange and possibly a druggie. Tracey was unsure that Alicia had grown up to marry an awesome bassist such as Mikey Way. Then she saw a picture of Mikey and Alicia together or read in article in a music magazine and could finally believe it. Now Tracey is from Grain Valley Missouri and that gave me, the Missouri girl I am (though I live more in the city), some hope. Heck, maybe I’ll marry the next Kurt Cobain but I hope he doesn’t shoot himself in the head or snort cocaine or do any sort of drug really. In fact maybe I’LL be the next (female) Kurt Cobain without the drugs and suicide.

Rid Me Of This Feeling

02/15/09

I’ve got an unquenchable feeling of uncertainty. I feel it when I fall asleep at night, I hope it will not wake up to it in the morning. I feel out of place with this feeling. Like I could use it to do something daring, something that the regular Phoenixx wouldn’t do. Maybe I’m just stressing myself out for no reason. Have you ever gotten the feeling where it feels like the skin over your ribcage is tightening? That happens to me when I’m hungry and occasionally when I’m stressing. I don’t understand myself fully. One day I’m, lighting the room with my smile, the next I’m sulking because I can’t find reason in ANYTHING. Some days I don’t know what I’m worried about. Though it could be everything. There is always something wrong with the picture you see. Whether it’s small or large, but the world is obviously an imperfect place.

Music is my cure for all of that. My medicine. My hate notes. My excitement. My everything. Music is there for me. If I’m happy I “head bang” to some Paramore, if I’m feeling angry I turn on My Chemical Romance’s first album (“I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love”) and blast “Our Lady of Sorrows” while screaming the lyrics. If I’m feeling whimsical and lighthearted I might fancy for some MGMT or Vampire Weekend. If I want to dance I’ll turn on the Gym Class Heroes. Feeling indie, maybe Radiohead, Straylight Run, or Lovedrug. Needing to relax I’ll play my Feist (“The Water” is my personal favorite). Anberlin just makes me want to take a minute and think about the lyrics then get back up and jump around. The Academy Is… is a good definition of pop punk. Punk but not to ranting instead, poppy, definitely something you could jump to. Maybe I should just turn on some music. Though it will only push back problems, but maybe that’s what I want.

“You gotta swim, and swim when it hurts.” — Jack’s Manequinn

“Can’t walk it off, can’t come clean.” — Lovedrug

We Meet Again

I had waited all week to make my trip back to Hot Topic to see my favorite (realistic) vampire. It was almost postponed *gasp*. Thankfully I made an excuse to go down and see him, though my ride (mother) did not buy it. My younger sister’s birthday is coming up so I’d pick something out for her. (It’s quite funny, really. I have my little sisters listening to bands like My Chemical Romance, All Time Low, and Paramore. Then they’ll walk around the house singing the lyrics to “Teenagers” or as Eleanor would say, “Teenagerds”. Ha-ha!) I hope you don’t get the wrong idea and think I’m stalking him, only making a trip down to my second favorite store.

Eli is there and since it is Super Bowl Sunday, the mall is practically vacant.  I smile on the inside knowing that Eli is up at the counter. For some reason I don’t fell much excitement. That is the best part. I come down on a Sunday to end my week nicely with a feeling of excitement and joy, yet I feel plain. The feeling when you could smile at nothing for days, do cartwheels around the house, or get tingles on your arms?  Have I lost the feeling completely?

Walking around David, is nice as usual, asks the same ol’, “Do you need any help finding something?” or “You guys doin’ alright?” You have to admit, it can get a bit annoying. I found the belt I wanted. White with cute, colorful, little monster people on it. Unfortunately it is a little big, but at least it fits! For my younger sister I found a small, pink, plush, Domo doll which should fit, considering her birthday is on Valentines Day. I walk around a little, trying to time it right so Eli can ring up my items this time.

At last I am paying for my items and Eli asks, “Do you want to donate a dollar to a charity for kids so they can get a better music foundation and get one of those bags?” As he pointed to two black messenger bags. One with a skull and the other smaller one that reads “music = life” Or at least something like that. I was once again lost in my own little world, inside my head, not paying attention to what he was saying. I replied mindlessly, “Uh, sure.” While speaking to him, a heat reached my cheek bones. How many times must he make me blush?!?! Eek! I already had the smaller bag left over from Christmas. Eli replied, “Do you want the smaller one or the bigger one?” It took me a moment to reply and just said, “Um, you can just keep the dollar.” He rolled up my belt and handed me the Domo plush, our hands almost touched. I couldn’t help but to think, Jeez, he has ginormous hands!!! I decided to save a plastic bag and put my items into a Disney bag my mother and I had been carrying around.

I left the store, in the words of my friend Hannah, blushing Bella red.