The Killers

December 31, 2008

With The Killers new album out reaching the top of charts for their single, “Human”, the video for “Human”, and just a brilliant album.  every now and then I try and check TicketMaster to see if The Killers are coming my way, yet no dates scheduled quite yet. I have my fingers crossed that if I see them in 2009, I hope it will be the best concert of the year. For Christmas I recived adore the songs “On Top”, “Andy You’re a Star”, “Smile Like You Mean It”, and “Jenny Was a Friend of Mine”. While searching YouTube I found this video of  The Killer performing, “On Top”. Great sound, performance, everything. Just watch it.

Here are just a couple more…

REVIEW: Thirteen Reasons Why

December 30, 2008

I finished a book called “Thirteen Reasons Why”. It was about a high school boy named, Clay, who had a crush on a girl named Hannah Baker. Just weeks ago Hannah committed suicide. One day when Clay arrives home from school a shoebox with cassette tapes are waiting for him, with no return address on the box. Inside are seven tapes with thirteen reasons describing why Hannah decided to end her life. Clay is one of them.

As I read the first couple of chapters I thought, Hannah ended her life for pretty silly reasons. She was too whiny, for some reason it was other people’s fault she had killed herself. As I reached the middle of the book I had changed my mind. Hannah had been new to the high school and already rumors had began to circle around the school. She had lost friends because of one “perfect” girl named Courtney. There was a peeping Tom taking pictures of her in her own house. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “There is more to life outside these walls.” Outside of school kids still seemed to find Hannah. Hannah was fed up with the lies and terrible things she had witnessed at parties or been a victim of. Hannah had said, “It (suicide) had once been a passing thought through my head.” she had thought how she would end this tragic life many times. Then finally she let one of the worst things happen to her when she had decided to give up on everything. While Clay is listening to these tapes he is running around town following a map Hannah had left behind. Getting to know the Hannah he never gave himself the chance to. I thought this book was a page turner after you get past the first couple of stories. An eerie sad tale of a girl who let the world come crashing down. It was a memorable read, the blunt truth of what some or maybe most high school kids are like, and the emotional issues Hannah developed. All in all I give it four stars out of five.

‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside

December 30, 2008

Yesterday was a stressful day. Now I honestly say this a lot, but I attended a funeral yesterday. My first funeral actually, for my friend whose dad passed away on Saturday night of cancer. My friend Veronica and her brother Robby are only twelve and fourteen, their father I don’t think was even fifty years old.

I don’t really have “dressy” clothing so I was searching through my T-shirts and jeans thinking, I cannot arrive at a funeral in a black Anberlin concert shirt with a pair of jeans on. I had finally managed to find a black silk shirt, that I wore over a casual dress, with a pair of black leggings, and all black leather converse. My mom picks me up from the house and I say, “I do not have anything dressy to wear.” My mother replies, “Oh, it’s alright, hon you’re a kid they don’t expect you too.” I sigh and give up on this conversation.

We arrive at the venue. I see quite a few kids from my school and teachers as well. During the speeches about him, I was thinking I would have really liked him. I didn’t know Veronica’s father well, I only said hello every once and a while. Come to think of it the last time I saw him was on Halloween. A little after that I believe he was back in the hospital for his cancer again. Listening to the people speaking I learned he was an artist, a writer, a philosopher, and just a nice guy. On a nice day he would sit on his front porch and play the drums and whenever someone asked him about his cancer he changed the subject and always looked at the bright side of life. Always.

I did not cry at the funeral, I was trying so hard to keep it together, but later that night I cried at home. I couldn’t understand why I was crying, I barely knew him. My mother pointed out, “I don’t think you are crying so much for him as you are for Veronica.” and that I believe was very true. My mother is a wise woman, I look to her for advice. Yes, my father is useful too, but if you ask the “wrong” question he will leave you with a dead silence. I once asked him, “How do you tell someone they really need to take a shower?” (Blunt aren’t I?) He narrowed his eyes, pursed his lips, sighed, turned and walked away.

After about an hour and a half I walked out of that room of the funeral. My teacher Ms.___ looked at me with raw red eyes and a tissue in her hand. She pulled my other and I into a tight grasp and said, “You are such a blessing to us.” and I was astonished a teacher told me that. I replied to her, “I cannot even imagine how Veronica is feeling right now.” 

David ____ 01/13/62  –  12/28/08


December 30, 2008

I’m guessing most of you have heard the word “emo”. Yeah, yeah. Kids who wear really tight clothes and hate their life so much they cut themselves, right? Well I’m not quite sure I told you the guests at my house, Layla and Lacey, have an older sister named, well know what, I’ll just call her Libby for now. Libby is goth, yes. She is you know, kind of “hardcore” or whatever.

It was Christmas day and Libby was over downloading music onto her mp3 player. Libby says she wants me to hear this Aiden song called “We Sleep Forever”. We click on this video on YouTube. The song is in the background, but the slide is all pictures. Later on in the song we see all these girls with bloody wrists. You guessed it, “cutters”. The song is actually quite depressing if you think about it, really. “This razor blade was made for me.”, that stuff will stress me out, give me chills. Ask Libby, “What is with all this emo suicide stuff?” “I dunno.” she says. It’s quiet for a moment and then Libby speaks again, “I used to cut.” and she holds out her arm. I’d seen those scars on her arm the other day and thought, “Oh my god1” and then, “No, Phoenixx you’re just being silly, she probably slept on her arm funny.” That really brought me back to reality. Libby goes on, “Life pushes you to a point when you feel all this emotional pain so you want to feel something physical. So… you cut.” I can hear her voice shaking. I’m scared for her. I’ve always thought cutting and suicide to be so glamorous. In reality, it is not one bit. Then I reply to Libby, “I’d be to scared to cut.” Libby and I were quiet for a while and I then left to go upstairs. I finally find my mother, I pull her aside and tell her to met me back in my room. My mom arrives and I whisper, “Libby cuts.” a look of shock and grief reaches my mother’s face as it did for me also. “How does that make you feel?” she asks. I look up and say, “Oh, I don’t know. Scared?”

Lately the word “emo” scares me. I don’t want to hear them whine and complain that their life sucks so much. Libby lives with an EXTREMELY strict father that has bolted all her drawers and her closet shut. Her mother, Abby, is a pysco and has not the slightest idea how to take care of children. I don’t want anyone to ever tell me their life sucks that bad unless it is like Libby’s situation or worse. Nor do I want to hear, “I’m so emo.” because I’ve had enough of that word.

If you or a friend or a loved one is cutting I am begging you to contact To Write Love On Her Arms at Because as Gerard Way has said, “Don’t piss your life away with suicide, it’s a bullshit way out.”

This War Is Ours

December 23, 2008


“This War Is Ours” is Escape The Fate’s new album and also happens to be the title for my new post that fits quite well.

Last Friday my house guests were gone. Staying with friends or a grandmother, I think. They hadn’t arrived nor called since yesterday night. Monday night. I heard someone at the door and the terribly strong smell of cigarettes. I glided to a window to see if it was really them, how could it not be? I ran back to my room hoping Layla wouldn’t see me. Layla brought back a box covered in blankets. One of their kittens. After thirty minutes I was already back to wanting to take a daily dose of cyanide or a lethal injection.

Today I was downstairs practicing guitar, scales to be exact and Layla comes into the room. I say something random, “I got to see my homie at Hot Topic last Sunday.” She replies, “I walked past there, but didn’t go in. Though I did go to Spencer’s.” I go on, “The Spencer’s at the mall is sectioned. There is a big wall with the “stuff” on one side at all the T-shirts and junk on the other half.” Layla responds, “I saw this maternity shirt there that says, ‘Don’t worry, it’s not yours.'” UGH. Is all I could think. So I tell her, “Once I saw this nasty shirt there that said ‘I’m not fat I’m just knocked up.'” “How is that nasty?” Layla asks. “Who would want to wear a shirt that says you’re knocked up on it?” I ask with a hint of attitude in my voice. “It’s not nasty, that’s what you are when you are pregnant.” I didn’t say anything. If I had the guts I’d tell her off. Scream in her face and maybe throw a punch or two, but that’s just my imagination, right? I ignore her and she walks out of the room. God, I’m going over the edge I swear. There are worse things my mother has pointed out. Like being a visitor at someone Else’s house.

We are babysitting a guinea pig over winter break. Our visitors Abby, Layla, and Lacey have had loads of stray pets, of course guinea pigs as well. The day our friends dropped the guinea pig off I walked over to the girl who owns it and said, “Hey, you want me to make sure they don’t touch it?” A sinister grin spread across my face. “Yeah.” she replied back. Yet Layla keeps making kissy faces at it and it drives me nuts! I stare at her from behind as a short film goes on inside my head. “Sorry, you can’t touch the guinea pig. Her owner told me so.” I say with a smug grin. “I’m sorry, but you’re just rude.” Layla says to me. I smile, give way one laugh and reply, “I never said I wasn’t.” I get up close to her and give her a good shove, then turn and walk away. She grabs me by the arm as I scream for my father, I bite her wrist so hard I tear through skin like a vampire (RAWR). Layla lets go and cries. Except that didn’t happen.

When I’m extremely mad my hands shake, I clench my jaw, and produce a look in my eyes that burns with hatred. My dad can barely accept that I don’t like these people or even know them. HA! The next time someone asks me, “What are you doing?” I’ll probably say something like, “Waiting to rot.” and go back to whatever I was doing before.

Let the war begin.

Bored Much?

December 22, 2008

God, I never seem to be entertained. I read, write, listen to music, whine, yell, laugh, what more is there? I am constantly complaining that I am bored. I do not get it myself either. I have more than forty books on my actual book shelf I haven’t read. I think I like buying books more than I do reading them. Some I’ve had for a couple years, but never managed to swollow the first page. I have also bougten albums I’ve only listened to once or twice. I liste to the same artist over and over agian. In fact, sometimes I am even to lazy to write a new post here on WordPress. I slump over to my parents draging my feet and whine, “I’m sooo bored!”

Now that winter break is about here I think I shall make a promise. I shall listen to these CDs two times and read the lyrics if any:

The Killers – Day & Age

Feist – The Reminder

Katy Perry – One Of the Boys

Three Days Grace – Once X

Read at least two of these books:

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Glass by Ellen Hopkins

About A Boy – Nick Hornby

The Host by Stephenie Meyer

The books and albums I listen to or read I shall write review for here on wordpress/my blog. Telling my favorite parts/songs, lyrics/quotes, rate the CD or book. I will also add my book reviews to my Shelfari page.

Music Owns My Life

December 22, 2008

Nothing can explain my strong love for music. When I listen to a song that I can truly say “I love” it hits me hard. Like the stomach feeling you get when to drive over a huge bump in the middle of the road, not expecting it. Feeling excitement and queasy all at once. I was born for this, for music to own my life. Wasting my time thinking up new ideas for music videos that will never be made… yet.

I’ve come across a new band I have been quite enjoying who are called Saosin. I bought their album a couple weeks ago without thinking I would be using my money to buy Fall Out boy’s new album, “Folie A Deux”. Saosin sound a little like Circa Survive and Chiodos both whom I like. Chiodos wow. How can I explain them. I could call them “Post-Hardcore” but I don’t need to label another band. I’d definitly recommend these dudes. Without music, the world be quite a dark place, don’t you think? I constantly have a album in my CD player. Or I’m listening to my iPod completely ignoring what is going on around me. You know, I might even have a stronger love for music than I do for books and reading. I guess I don’t have much more to say, other than…

Go check out this link

Kings Of Leon

December 21, 2008

I’m terribly sad that I the Kings Of Leon show near me is sold out. I was so looking forward to listening and watching an amazing performance. But of course seeing these guys as well.




*sigh* These guys are just TOO CUTE!!!

Impulse Playlist

December 19, 2008

I read a book called “Impulse” by Ellen Hopkins. It was amazing, brilliant, brutal, satisfying, gut wrenching, and tearful. If you haven’t read it then I recommend you go pick up a copy from the library or Barnes and Noble. On the back of the book where you find out whether you would or wouldn’t like to read it, it says “Tony’s painful childhood memories keep him quelled only throught pills. Vanessa has a secret that keeps her coming back to the blade. And Conner seems to have the perfect life on the outside, but his inward battle with his parents, his peers, and himself give him one last choice – to pull the trigger.

These are three lives that would have been cut short if not for the hasty intervention by loved ones. Or fate. Now they are given a second chance at a better life – but only if they help one another, and if they find the strength to let go of their inner demons. For good.” 

I was thinking of the book yesterday, about some songs that fit the characters but also the story. So here is my playlist that IS NOT in any specific order, yet. I will mention why I choose these songs them and what parts they fit in. If you have any suggestion do comment on my post.

Emergency – Paramore  I choose this particular song because the title is “Emergency” and the beginning of the story shows how Vanessa, tony, and Conner almost killed themselves, meaning there was an emergency.

I’m a Fake – The Used  At the beginning of this song the lead singer, Bert MaCrackin, says ” Small, simple, safe price rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets. This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals. I am not afraid to die. I’m not afraid to bleed, and f***, and fight. I want the pain of payment.” then going on ” My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter. I’m cutting trying to picture your black broken heart. Love is not like anything especially a f***ing knife.” I thought this was from Vanessa’s perspective of life and death. When she is kneeling over the bathtub sawing through layers of skin, thinking of her secret.

We Are Broken – Paramore  This song makes me want to break down to tears. I thought these lyrics summed up how each Conner, Tony, and Vanessa were hoping to feel in the end. Scarcely keeping hope. “Cause we are broken. What must we do to restore? Our innocence…”

Sleep – My Chemical Romance  This song choice in my opinion is telling how they all are trying to run away from their past by saying “Shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye and just sleep.”

What I’ve Done – Linkin Park  Conner, Vanessa, and Tony are trying to forgive themselves, accept their pasts, get over their miserable thoughts but occasionally drown back in them. Yet a couple of them are thinking, what have I done?

Blackout – Muse  Every time I listen to this song I picture a ballet. A sorrowful dance ultimately brilliant and beautiful. It is talking about how short our lives are and how we should use our time wisely because they soon fade… away.

Everybody’s Fool – Evanescence  Conner has always been told to be perfect, yet he feels like everybody’s fool. Nice clothes, house, money, body, he has it all right? All Conner wants is to escape from his life to neverland.

Hero/Heroine – Boys Like Girls  “I feel like a hero and you are my heroine.” is the chorus in this song. Tony has been saved by this astonishing girl named, Vanessa. Vanessa becoming to love Tony more. Is it “true” love?

Lies – Billy Talent  Lies. Yes they make it better, right? At least for a while. The characters try to cover things up with lies and blur thoughts that shouldn’t float around in their heads. Vanessa’s mother was schizophrenic and also bipolar. Vanessa cannot seem to accept that being bipolar is genetic.

Baby, You Wouldn’t Last One Minute on the Creek – Chiodos  Conner was dating an older woman, his teahcer. He speaks of her frequently, though she had told him it wasn’t right. This song descrbes their relationship in my opinion. “Let’s turn around and head in different directions. It’s like we never… it’s like we never knew each other at all.” later saying “This is probably the best. Not to mention, the worst idea that I have ever had.”

Soft Skeltons – Anberlin  Tony has had a terribly rough childhood. His mother being a prostitute, Tony being abused by her many boyfriends, leading up to something his mother chose not to believe. This song is giving those hope.

Dismantle. Repair. – Anberlin  As the main characters begin to help each other through difficult times, repairing one is dismantling the other.

Closer – Kings Of Leon  This song is talking about how both Tony and Conner have fallen for Vanessa. This is strange for Tony , “She took my heart, I think she took my soul. With the moon I run, far from the carnage of the fiery sun.”

Existentialism on Prom Night – Straylight Run  *SPOILER ALERT* This is another song where people are brought to tears as Connor has just jumped over the edge.

Demolition Lovers – My Chemical Romance  *SPOILER ALERT* This song is my absolute favorite My Chemical Romance song. I think it ends the playlist quite well. In the end Conner stops taking his anti-depressants and commits suicide by jumping off a cliff. Vanessa and Tony mourn together in a loss of a friend.

   View and listen to the playlist tracks at…


All Time Low

December 19, 2008

At first I wasn’t really a fan of All Time Low. They seemed to “boy band-ish” to me, meaning girls will say “Oh he is soooo hot!” I heard All Time Low were parading into Kansas City first with a signing at Hot Topic then they’d go on down to a little “club” and give the crowd a show with Mayday Parade. I thought I didn’t need to go see them, besides I was basically a poseur fan anyway. A few months went by I heard more of their music and you know what happened I liked it. I jumped around to it. Attempted to sing along with the very few words I knew. On my birthday I received an iTunes gift card. As I logged on to iTunes I realized I could purchase a few of their songs. You know what, I did. Now I throw my head around to ’em and jump around like mad. I guess I do dance like no one is watching. After I had learned most of the words to “Break Out!” and “The Beach” I was sad that I didn’t see them live. Now I cannot complain that they weren’t here or never came, because I missed them purposely. Maybe next year if they go on tour with There For Tomorrow again, definitely.