I must be dreaming

July 29, 2009

I was panicking. We were living in a house with other vampires (think “Breaking Dawn” by Stephenie Meyer) who have all caught a disease. I don’t know what the disease is called, but it’s making them really hungry. Hungry for human blood. And I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to die because I don’t want it to be a gore fest. Whenever I read about vampires and events similar to this, I am not frightened. Of course it’s a book, but now after dreaming this, vampires are definitely scary.

My mom came home and walked into the bathroom. I opened the door to see her rubbing a washrag over her eyes. My mom put down the washrag; one of her eyes was an intense shade of red. She informed me about the disease, which turns out, is the reason why all the other vampires left the house. “Your scent was calling me back,” my mother said. I froze up and left the room.

There was a woman in the kitchen working on wooden crates. “These are for when it comes,” she said. ‘It’ meaning the slaughter. “Who is that for?” I asked, pointing down to a small crate split in half. The woman replied, “Your sisters.” I was scared and panicking again. I called my youngest sister into the kitchen. She tried to fit into one side of the wooden box and it wasn’t working. It was too small. I looked up at the woman and said, “She doesn’t fit.”

I woke up from this dream thinking, Thank God vampires aren’t real.

Song Of The Day – “Chocolate” by Snow Patrol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV6-pVn3Yo0

Fashion Dos and Don’ts (but not really)

July 25, 2009

I had an idea. Since I talk about music so much on this blog of mine, how about I post a YouTube link for a song on each new post? I would call it, The Song Of The Day. I promise it won’t be all rock music, but definitely no country or rap. Well, as far as rap goes, I might post something like “Day ‘N Night” by Kid Cudi. Anyway, this isn’t the topic of the post. The topic of my post today is my fashion dos and don’ts.

– First of all, I am a huge fan of T-shirts, especially if I happen to pick one up at a concert. Fabric: I like American Apparel, actually I like most 100% cotton shirts. Yes, they do shrink, but the fabric is much more breathable and comfortable. It can be light, soft, and somewhat stretchy. If you don’t like t-shirts, that’s too bad for you.

– Now designs are also fun, but I tend to stay away from store logos. It is cocky and nothing more than an advertisement. I mean, if you want to advertise, pick up some Chanel (not too many people can afford Chanel and neither can I, but that isn’t me anyway). At least be classy about it, none of this Aeropostal or Abercrombe crap.

When it comes to pants, shorts, and skirts I get extremely picky. To be honest, I sometimes don’t even know what I am looking for. I like for skirts to be flowy and airy, in other words, no denim. I would recommend Urban Outfitters if you’re looking for the same kind of skirt (you can also find really neat tights there). If I were older, pencils skirts would be an acception.

– I do not own very many pairs of pants because I am picky about the right fit. I would rather spend money on a couple pairs of good quality jeans rather than a bunch of cheap jeans. I like my jeans fitted tight so I buy skinny jeans. With regular jeans, they are either too baggy or the flare at the bottom of the jeans makes them look weird. If you like mega-tight skinnies I suggest Hot Topic (or just buy cigarette jeans somewhere).

– Shoes! All I really own is Converse, but I do know of other good shoes. I have recently taken a liking to plain black Vans canvas skips.

– I love jackets. A hoodie with pockets wins me over every time. I have long arms so it feels like my hands are always swinging dumbly at my sides. When I wear a hoodie all I have to do is shove my hands into my pockets. (I also like fake leather jackets for winter time.)

– Clothing gets expensive so some thrift stores are fun to look in. You could buy a shabby shirt and “trick it out”. You might even find other trinkets in there like buttons and whatnot.

I guess that sums it up for you reader, not really fashion dos and don’ts, but it does have something to do with clothing.

Song Of The Day – “Carolina” by Brighten http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPD1AAOdp-s

This is something, but nothing epic.

July 22, 2009

A new post is far overdue, but what am I supposed to say? I haven’t anything interesting to write or rant about. I wanted to come back with something epic, but all I have are posts saved in my drafts that I might abandon. Let me think….

At the very beginning of the month I saw Paramore with No Doubt. It was a amazing! I just haven’t taken the time to edit my draft; I should post it soon.

A couple of weekends ago two of my cousins came up and stayed at my house. Mackenzie and I shopped all weekend (and yes, I spent most of my own hundred-some-dollars). I bought Underoath’s album, They’re Only Chasing Safety, at Hot Topic and found out there are completely new employees there except for one guy. Just about everyone in the store told me how great this album was. One guy (a redhead even!) even talked about Aaron Gillespie with me. And everyone in the store was right. That is an amazing album and my favorite track is definitely “It’s Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door”. I don’t feel like shopping anymore.
As stupid as this may sound, my admiration for my cousin Mackenzie never left, it only died down for a while.

Last Saturday we drove up to see my mom’s side of the family for a couple days (and that was all that was needed). It was weird being somewhere different, like in the suburbs. I am positively sure I like Kansas City much better. Though, swimming in a nice pool that used salt water instead of chlorine was nice. (And I also realized that altogether, I had only been swimming five times this summer.) Especially when at night we would rest in the hot tub and then jump in the pool that now seemed freezing.

I haven’t been reading very much this summer. I’ve just been hung up on saying I am bored. That will have to change because so far I have only finished four books this summer. I think I should at least read ten, and three of them have to be non-fiction (this is was not my choice, it’s for school). Does anyone know of any good non-fiction books by chance, and please don’t say “The Diary Of Anne Frank” because that is already on my list to pick up from the library.

(I feel that if I write some of these things down I pull myself together easier.) Guitar has been going well, in fact I have a lesson today. I’ve been working on sliding back and fourth to different bar chords which I find much more fun than soloing (in other words, reading notes out of a book). My only problem is changing strumming patterns.

I have indeed been babysitting. I don’t like it, but it’s money. Thank Gawd these three girls are good. I could charge more, but their mom is usually off doing volunteer work for church and that doesn’t seem fair. My expenses for Warped Tour are now covered and I might even buy another Underoath album from iTunes.

Well, this post may not be “epic”, but it is something.

Most of us are equals

July 17, 2009

I hate it when someone tells me I’m not old enough to be somewhere. That my friend, is a lie. Yes, there are some acceptions to that, but a good concert is where I should be (unless it’s 21 and older). It is the only place I fit in. Everyone is making a fool out of themselves and it is the place where no one will make fun of you when you scream the lyrics to your favorite songs.

I am especially annoyed if the person is only a few years older than me *cough, cough* Joe! And another point I would like to make, why do you care? Why does it mean anything to you? Why can’t we just do our own thing? Not everyone who is younger than you is off listening to Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers. Heck, there are even some fifteen year old fan-girls who listen to the Jonas Brothers… blech. Not everyone is the same and not only you and your clique is different (or should I say unique?). You should learn to accept that. And having me tell you this proves my point.

We’ve got a big mess on our hands

July 7, 2009

Damn, guilt.

How do you uninvite someone to go somewhere with you? Like the Vans Warped Tour, perhaps? Why can’t I just keep my mouth shut? I was looking to take someone my age, or a little older, but not her. We like a couple of the same bands but I just can’t see myself at a Chiodos set with her. I can’t see myself meeting John O’Callaghan from The Maine with her either.

Maybe her mom won’t let her go, but that’s selfish of me, isn’t it? Though this isn’t just anyone, this is Sarah. Sarah and I… we aren’t the same. We are friends but we are very different people. This is the girl likes to start arguments over silly misunderstandings, the girl who called me a bitch. I know those things are over and done with now, but I’m mainly just searching for excuses. I guess I shouldn’t bother inviting anyone to Warped Tour. Everything I say is a mess.

If I don’t bring it up again, maybe nothing will happen. I should just stick to keeping my concerts a secret from my friends like I did during the school year. If that’s going to work MY MOTHER needs to keep her mouth shut and stop bragging to people about it. I like to keep things secret, understood? What am I going to do?

In the words of William Beckett,
We’ve got a big, big mess on our hands tonight
Somebody get my phone so I can throw it in a public pool
and watch it float
And as it’s slowly sinking down become a social ghost

I’m Sorry

July 5, 2009


I’m sorry;
it’s easier for me to write these things than say them.
I just can’t back down,
I can’t “lose”.
I don’t want to have to give in to apologies.
Showing that maybe we are even,
when I want to be one point ahead.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me.”
Why, that is a lie.
People tell me all the time
that my words are more powerful than I think.
I never believed them because I was the person
on the other side.
The one saying all those hurtful things.

I was frustrated, but I know it was uncalled for.
How did I let just one word slip from my mouth?
I’m sorry, I truly am.
After the guilt settled in my stomach
I knew I would have to say it.
That I AM sorry, but I can’t.
It seems I’ve gone mute
and shame myself for all that I’ve ever said.
Hide away in my room,

It has never been easy for me, saying sorry.
Sometimes I say it with my fingers crossed behind my back,
other times I mumble it,
and now I finally do mean it.
Yet I can’t come to say it to your face
because you have won in this “battle”
(that you don’t know you’re playing).

You might forgive me, maybe not.
Though something similar might just happen again,
but things just won’t be the same.
I could be making a big deal out of this,
but it was a pretty bad idea.
I just didn’t take the time to think,
well, I guess I did, but it just came out of my mouth
rather then staying put inside my head.

Will this have to end in slamming doors
or will you read this and forgive me?
I know I’m in trouble
and the guilt keeps nagging, “Stop keeping me in suspense!”
Maybe by the time you read this, things will have cooled off.
I am at loss of words all I can say is,
I’m sorry.

Only an update

July 3, 2009

I feel like giving everyone an update so don’t be surprised if I run a little off topic.

First of all, I only have to wait three more days until I finally get to see Paramore live with No Doubt! Yesterday was the one year anniversary I missed their performance by an hour at the Vans Warped Tour last year.

 Secondly, last night I straightened my hair again. All of it. Though, I did use a ceramic flat iron so it didn’t damage my hair nearly as much as last time.  I looked in the mirror and my hair was mad puffy. Yeah, it looked pretty straight, but it was puffy. It made me want to cut my hair to put some style in it, but if I’m not going to straighten my hair everyday then why bother cutting it? It is now curly again. Maybe when I’m ready to straighten my hair every flippen’ day then I’ll cut it short.

I bought tickets to the Vans Warped Tour this year. No offense mom, but I kind of want a friend to come with me… someone a little closer to my age. That seems to be the problem because my friends’ parents either don’t want them going to concerts, don’t listen to punk-rock music, or both. I tried inviting my cousin because he skateboards and likes Underoath, but I don’t think he has the money. I’ve told you all a little about my friend Sarah’s attractive older brother, right? Well, he doesn’t want me at Warped, he said, “You’re not supposed to be there. Something’s going down, so tell all your friends where it’s gonna be.” Of course he was half-joking, so I replied, “How about we just high-five and say ‘it’s cool’?” Maybe he will lighten up and come see Chiodos or whoever with me. (I know there will be wicked mosh pits during their set. All I have to do is try to stay calm, definitely not panic.)

My other cousin, Mackenzie, is coming up next Friday for the weekend. I am so ready to spend some of my babysitting/back-to-school money! I want to walk around Westport and take pictures, people watch, that kind of stuff.
I guess that’s about it.