I’m glowing and fading at the same time. This must mean something good.

You can often find me smiling to myself lately. Just over little things, really. Like last night I came home from a babysitting gig and my dad handed me this book of papers crudely stapled together. When I saw the cover, I instantly remembered it. I had drawn this book of Asian girls in something like the first or second grade and had made a collection of them. I drew them as beautifully as I could and gave them each a list of hobbies.

While I looked over each page, I had this big grin spread wide across my face. I laughed at the names I had given my drawings. As racist as this sounds, I tried to give them really ‘Asian sounding’ names, it was pretty ridiculous. I was laughing so hard I started crying. It was a good thing, too because I was ready to cry a set of happy tears anyway, but this way I could hide those silly tears. Then my parents and I remembered another character I used to draw. His name was Master Monkey. He killed people. I would draw this monkey with a top hat and there would be a pool of blood on the floor and a picture of his victim. — Gosh, this makes me burst with laughter.

And take right now, this moment, for another example. I am listening to “What’s My Age Again” by Blink-182. The beginning of that song is so great, I can’t even describe the feeling that builds up in my gut. Though, it’s the same with any good song you want to stop and listen to and remember. In the words of Charlie from The Perks Of Being a Wallflower, “I feel infinite.”

Lately I have been feeling pretty great. I want to document some of these moments on paper (like in my empty journal) but then I realize these things are just too long to summarize. And you know, if these things are important enough they won’t blur into every other day like they usually do.

(Right now I feel so strung out on these songs.) Songs of the Day – “Tigers and Sharks” by You Me At Six and “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink-182. http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#tigers%20and%20sharks%20you%20me%20at%20six

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