“The Consequence”

February 11, 2010

You know, if I did half of the crazy schemes I thought up my parents would probably put me away in an insane asylum. I can’t help these thoughts, there are too many tools at my school always pissing me off making me spit fowl names. Forget the rules, I want to fight. These immature nimrods are so unknowledgeable and inappropriate they leave me fuming. Hell, I don’t even know most of their names and I still find myself yearning to start a verbal fight or if I’m in the mood a physical fight.

Today was a half day and nothing went especially wrong. Our gymnasium is still flooded so instead of a pre-Valentine’s Day dance we watched the movie Fame in the auditorium. Reaaal nice. The boys sitting behind me wouldn’t stop yelling out about the actors who had the talent of dance were “gay.” That really set me off. One of them, a kid named Reginald kept placing his feet on the back of my seat and I could feel it like a push in my back. I whipped around and said real serious, “Can you please get your feet off of my seat?” Though, it was more of an order rather than a question. “Man, I’m not even messing wit’ you,” Reginald complained. I looked at him with wide eyes and dumbed down my tone of voice, “I know you’re not but it’s BUGGING ME ,” I finished slowly. “Man,” he said smacking his lips. Ah, sweet, sweet satisfaction.

I didn’t much understand why they made us go to lunch since we were released at 10:40AM so I didn’t eat anything. A group of annoying girls who think they are “the shit” invaded our table. It became silent. The girls went on to talk about sex and teased my friend Max. I just can’t even. They even asked if my friend E still had her “V card.” When it was time to leave I turned to my friend A and said, “I feel like singing a You Me At Six song.” I went on to sing a lyric from the song “Save It For The Bedroom”. “You whoooorrreee,” I smiled. If only they knew.

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I can live with only oxygen, but oxygen can’t live with me.

February 7, 2010

I want to complain about what I don’t have and forget to acknowledge what I have. I want to curse my parents for having such a tight budget, but instead I’ll curse the wind because I know it’s not their fault. I want to tell my mom not to be so damn passive aggressive and teach her how to be strong mentally, but that’s just how she is. I want to move away and start fresh at a new school with new friends, but I know we can’t for a couple more years. And so I will spend my weekend watching movies and listening to “Colly Strings” by Manchester Orchestra.

This afternoon I saw a high school production of the musical Footloose. I really enjoyed it. It smelled like home, fresh and powdery with a hint of some sort of perfume, like my cousin’s house in Wichita. After the performance I officially decided that I want to move out of the city so I can go to a school in a different district. I love the city, I will miss the plaza and Westport and knowing that I could ride my bike down there if I ever wanted, but I want a fresh start. The schools in the city are to be quite honest, horrible. I hate that even with the Shawnee Mission school district being better there is hardly any diversity. I have realized that most cool people my age don’t live in the city.

It would be nice if someone asked me to babysit soon. I would really like to buy concert tickets to see Phoenix and The Dead Weather. I would like to buy more music. I would like to buy a couple books from a second-hand shop, and a new pair of jeans because my favorite pair is ripped (and not in the knee).

I wish my mom didn’t seem to so unhappy. I know she is always telling me to be positive but it seems like lately all she has to say is complain about work. I understand work right now is very stressful, but I don’t like to see people in an unhappy state. It makes me feel doomed to the same fate. I don’t much like that.

So this weekend and past weekends, I haven’t felt like doing much. I know I should accept invitations out with my friends more, but I haven’t been in the mood. I feel like a lump. I haven’t been reading and hardly writing and definitely not playing guitar for the past few weeks. I have been too busy watching Whip It and Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging over and over and over. That brings us to this weekend. I had been planning to watch The Chumscrubber last night, but apparently it hadn’t recorded so I started Meet Joe Black instead. And tonight I am going to watch Whip It again. Now I must set goals.

  • Finish reading “The Lightening Thief” before it hits theatres
  • Finish reading “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” (yes, I know I’m behind!)
  • Play guitar every night starting Monday night
  • Write more to my quizilla story
  • get a tattoo tomorrow (haha, just kidding)

Oh wait, I should also try not to piss my Geography teacher off. I guess I wasn’t following directions on Friday because I owe her lunch detention on Monday. Shesabitch. The end.

Song of the Day – \”Colly Strings\” by Manchester Orchestra [it’s a click-through link]