Comfort always made the rescue

September 26, 2009

I can barely stand to write about this right now for I feel I might just cry. Why oh why did Chiodos kick Craig Owens out of the band?! I only found out about this today, though it happened recently. Craig Owens WAS Chiodos. How could they kick him out just like that? So many times I turned to their music when I was feeling upset. Especially their song “No Hardcore Dancing In The Living Room”. Craig’s voice was what set Chiodos apart from every other band. (Though, I must say, the piano pieces were also very beautiful and Jason’s guitar riffs and hooks were pretty insane.)

I was on Polyvore looking at some girl’s set and she had commented that Chiodos kicked Craig out of the band. I thought I knew for sure this was a silly rumor. So I Googled it. Then I knew it was true when I saw that Alternative Press had covered this story. I read the article in shock, while inside I really did want to cry. I ran upstairs and yelled, “IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD.” My dad gave me a funny look then resumed watching something on TV. I ran into the kitchen and repeated myself, hoping my mom would ask what was wrong so I could rant.

I told my mom Craig had been booted from Chiodos and I ranted. All the while I told her this I almost started crying with sad, angry tears. How in the world could they make a new record and then decide that Craig can no longer be a part of it? How is that even fair?

Craig, I want to let you know that whenever you are touring with Isles and Glaciers or Cinematic Sunrise or even a solo tour and you happen to stop by Kansas City, I will be there to support you and your music. Though, nothing will ever be as amazing or the same as Chiodos. When Chiodos included you and Derrick Frost, you were the world to me. The old Chiodos still means the world to me. Now every time I shall listen to a Chiodos record, there will be a sadness left over.

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I want to scream at the top of my lungs.

June 25, 2009

I can’t stop smiling. I want to scream and punch things like a mad woman, but I can’t. Instead, I’ll just smile and run in circles while listening to Taking Back Sunday.

Last night I said to my mother, “I would do anything to see Taking Back Sunday again.” “Well, hon, it’s over. You can’t be mad about it,” she replied. My mother had it wrong. I wasn’t mad, I was extremely sad. I wanted to have a good cry over it. Really, I should be lucky I even saw Taking Back Sunday at all. Instead, I moped about not being close to the stage or to put it this way, I couldn’t see the stage at all. All I heard was my voice next to Adam Lazzara’s voice. It was like watching a YouTube video.

I sat on the bus today, God knows how hot it was. The humidity was stiffling, and I could just barely breathe. I flipped on my phone and pulled up the interent. I immeadiately checked my email, hoping there would be something worth reading. I opened one my mother had sent me. My jaw dropped. Taking Back Sunday were coming back to Kansas City September 4th with Blink-182 and Weezer. To top that off, tickets were only twenty dollars.

I turned to my friend and grabbed her arms and shook her wildly. “GUESS WHAT?! TAKING BACK SUNDAY ARE COMING BACK TO KANSAS CITY!!!” I yelled, hopping up and down in my seat. “Phoenixx, calm down,” she said to me, but I couldn’t. My stomach was way too excited to simply calm down. I knew instantly that this was going to be a damn good bus ride home.

Nothing mattered. All I cared about at that moment were tickets. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs with joy and race up my front porch. I wanted to kick at things violently because no one knew what I was feeling. I felt amazing.

I later found out the twenty dollar tickets sold out, BUT thirty five dollar tickets were still available. So of course I bought them. Nothing matters. Though Taking Back Sunday do matter, and I want to live in the moment of their performance because I know it will be stunning.


Brought To Tears…

February 18, 2009

02/17/09

Last night while watching a To Write Love On Her Arms video on YouTube, I came across a video called “The Way She Feels Part 2”. Curious ol’ me, I clicked on it. It happened to the be the making of Between The Trees’ music video for “The Way She Feels”. You see Between The Trees are big supporters of the TWLOHA foundation. In fact, they knew Renee Yohe before To Write Love on Her Arms was even started. The lead singer, Ryan Kirkland, had befriended Renee. Though it was a big burden to carry, Ryan remained trustworthy of Renee. Finally it got to a point where it was almost too much, and they needed to get her to rehab. — Anyway, back to the video. — The song was written about Renee and her struggle with cutting. As I watched this video for the first time last night, I was just barely in tears and had become the start of a new Between The Trees fan. As of today, I know all of the lyrics to “The Way She Feels” and I savor every last bit of them. Reader, the beautiful song, “The Way She Feels” by Between The Trees.


The Little Things

February 2, 2009

Today I was at least hopeful, and not completely negative. In fact I was secretly excited to go to PE, but keep that a secret. I’m trying hard to focus on my work when Sarah, Veronica, and I get to talking about the Katy Perry concert. Veronica: “I really want to go, but my mom says no since it’s at a bar. But I might get to see The Killers!” My heart sinks. I cannot remember if I spilled the beans or what, but I pray to god that the tickets will soon be sold out before she gets her hands on them. Me: “Oh.” That was all I managed to say. Veronica is barely a Killers fan; I wish I could strangle her right now. I come back with, “Yeah, I love The Killers. I have all their albums.” I understand that was a total cat-ish thing to do, but to be honest, that was what I was aiming for. Yeah, yeah, she knows one song. In my book, that is called a poseur fan. You might not understand how it can get under my skin so much, but I like doing things on my own. Without friends to ask to “hang out” with me when all they do insult me.

 Sarah speaks, “Phoenixx don’t take this the wrong way, but my brother thinks-” I finish for her, “That I’m to young to go to Warped Tour. I know, you told me.” She goes on about how he said I was too young to go to concerts, listen to this kind of music, “besides I might think I know what they are talking about, but I really don’t”. Now, the last of that sentence was a quote. All I could think was, WHY DOES HE (YOU) ****ING CARE?!?!?! It’s not like it is any of his business. Note to self: Never speak of any concerts near my “friends”… ever. This is one reason why I love to isolate myself from everyone. Just when I’ve dusted myself back off, they bite back with words. I reply to Sarah, “What I am I supposed to listen to, Hannah Montana?!?!?!” I wish I could scream in her face. In fact both of them, but I’ve got a “good girl” reputation and I wish I could show them my venom.

 Later that day Madeline comes over to me, “Phoeni, I can’t believe you are gonna bail on me with the Katy Perry concert!” I’m sorry, but I would like to save my money for other concerts and merchandise money. I reply to her, “I’m sorry, but I wanted to see The Killers.” “Yeah, but still.” she continues. I respond, “Yeah, but it’s THE KILLERS.” Veronica was sitting next to me. Of course then she starts talking about bands, which leads to a dream she had, which leads to money. With that someone asks what she would do with the money. Veronica: “Um, go to concerts, buy clothes, shoes.” Go to concerts was her first answer. I know for a fact she wouldn’t even have thought about it if I hadn’t brought it up. God, why do I have to be such an idiot?!

I suppose, I shouldn’t get mad over things so little as these, but it’s the little things that make me itch.