Comfort always made the rescue

September 26, 2009

I can barely stand to write about this right now for I feel I might just cry. Why oh why did Chiodos kick Craig Owens out of the band?! I only found out about this today, though it happened recently. Craig Owens WAS Chiodos. How could they kick him out just like that? So many times I turned to their music when I was feeling upset. Especially their song “No Hardcore Dancing In The Living Room”. Craig’s voice was what set Chiodos apart from every other band. (Though, I must say, the piano pieces were also very beautiful and Jason’s guitar riffs and hooks were pretty insane.)

I was on Polyvore looking at some girl’s set and she had commented that Chiodos kicked Craig out of the band. I thought I knew for sure this was a silly rumor. So I Googled it. Then I knew it was true when I saw that Alternative Press had covered this story. I read the article in shock, while inside I really did want to cry. I ran upstairs and yelled, “IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD.” My dad gave me a funny look then resumed watching something on TV. I ran into the kitchen and repeated myself, hoping my mom would ask what was wrong so I could rant.

I told my mom Craig had been booted from Chiodos and I ranted. All the while I told her this I almost started crying with sad, angry tears. How in the world could they make a new record and then decide that Craig can no longer be a part of it? How is that even fair?

Craig, I want to let you know that whenever you are touring with Isles and Glaciers or Cinematic Sunrise or even a solo tour and you happen to stop by Kansas City, I will be there to support you and your music. Though, nothing will ever be as amazing or the same as Chiodos. When Chiodos included you and Derrick Frost, you were the world to me. The old Chiodos still means the world to me. Now every time I shall listen to a Chiodos record, there will be a sadness left over.


My eyes are tired, but I’ll stay awake for this last day of summer.

August 23, 2009

School starts tomorrow and I am still nervous. I have a headache right now. I’m trying to go without taking an Ibuprofen of Tylenol because I don’t want to get too dependant on them. I’m almost finished with “The Perks Of Being a Wallflower” and I love it. Yesterday I painted my nails with glittery nail polish. You can’t see anything other than the cleance Inside”ar coating and sparkles. When I think back to when I bought it, it was two days before Warped Tour. When I think about Warped Tour I think about how much I will soon be missing summer. I wish I could redo my summer and be more adventurous and do something really fun or meaningful, but I can’t. I suppose I shall just begin planning for next year.

I was listening to The Academy Is…’s album Fast Times At Barrington High this morning and thinking how much of a summer album it is. I was thinking about the song “Summer Hair = Forever Young” in particular (can you guess why?). I actually like the fall and winter much better than summer, but knowing that I don’t have school or homework to worry about the next day is always a nice feeling. I started singing it to my younger sister and decided I would just play it for all to hear. So I stuck the album into my sisters’ Hello Kitty CD player and listened to the whole album three times through.

The first time I sat in the kitchen and sang along in a whisper. The next time I played it while I was reading. The third time I listened to it during the car ride to the Ethnic Festival. (At the Ethnic Festival I came across some beautiful Kokeshi Dolls. I’ll post my pictures soon, but in the meantime you should read bout them. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kokeshi) It has been another one of those melancholy days.

Despite the fact I talked about The Academy Is… (and even wore my concert T-shirt today) in this post, the Song Of The Day is “Dance Inside” by The All-American Rejects. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VKkLKTnlu0


Who Watches The Watchmen?

March 11, 2009

03/08/09

Who watches the Watchmen?

I did. Though I missed the premiere on Friday, I made it to a matinee show Sunday afternoon. –I usually loathe Sundays, I find them miserable. Knowing that another week of school starts the very next day. Back to the movie.– I am a superhero movie geek. I’ve seen every Spider Man movie, most of the X-Men films, Electra, Dare Devil, Superman Returns, Batman Begins , Batman: Dark Knight, (In fact, when I was around five and seven, I used to watch the “Batman Beyond” series. For for Christmas last year, one of the gifts I received was the first PG-13 Batman cartoon movie! “Batman: Gotham Knight”.) Iron Man, Hellboy, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and Wanted. Though I am yet to see “Push” and interested in the new “Wolverine” movie they have in store for us later this year!

Fresh out of reading the graphic novel I remembered just about everything. Seeing scenes from the movie and the book collaborate together. The special effects made certain things stand out, the most noticeable being their costumes. The patterns and nutural matalic colors on Nite Owl and Ozymandias suits were simply neat. Doctor Manhattan’s glow of energy was almost a soft neon blue in a way. It made me think the things he’d touch would feel a slight electric shock. The actors and actresses looked almost exactly alike to their characters in the book. Malin Åkerman was the perfect woman to play the Silk Spectre. Although her costume was revealing, I loved the patent shine. Rorschach was my favorite character and still remains my favorite character. I found that I became addcited his edge, his merciless personality, and his black and white shape changing mask. The quote that I can remember most of Rorschach’s is also my favorite. “All the whores and politicians will look up and shout, ‘Save us!’… and I will whisper, ‘No.'” The film production of “Watchmen” stayed true to the book down to certain quotes from the characters, but minor scenes were rearranged and taken out. Most importantly, the ending was changed. I do miss the newspaper stand parts which would include another comic that vaguely relates to the some of the plot.

Watchmen opens up with small bits of the past. Shots of the original Watchmen. Pictures being taken. The actual move begins with The Comedian’s death. His death was precise and the track that was playing during that scene was Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” made it seem elegant in a twisted way. The Comedian put up a pretty good fight before he was thrown out a window. Though what do you expect? He’s six foot two and more than two hundred pounds of muscle. The movie basicly revolves around his death, opening up into inner and outter conflict that the characters have.

I never had payed much attention to the doomsday clock in the novel, but now that I look over the chapters it shows a small picture of it in each illustration of the chapters. The director captured each character so precisely. From their look so their inner fear, struggles, misunderstandings, and personality. While reading “Watchmen” I found it hard to relate to Dr.Manhattan because he was treated like a god, yet he couldn’t relate nor understand human beings. In the film, I became much more attached to him for a number of reasons (and no, not because he was nude… *awkward silence*). First of all the actor who played Doctor Manhattan was Billy Crudup who happened to be Russell from “Almost Famous“. I have a favorite quote of his as well *wink*. “She is beautiful. After each long kiss, she plants a smaller, gentler one upon my lips, like a signature.” They kept this in the movie and I was thrilled about this.

“Watchmen” is filled with non-stop violence and action that can be painful to watch, yet leaves you waiting for the next scene whether it’s chilling and gut-wrenching (I cringed once or twice) or a kissing scene that could possibly turn into a sex scene. The emotion I felt while in the theatre at times was overwhelming for me. Without reading the book most things will take you by surprise and leave you pondering later on. It is complex and confusing and I don’t know how many people are able to put the events together to find who The Comedian’s killer is.

Walking out of the theatre dazed, mouthing the lyrics to My Chemical Romance’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row”. The first word that entered my mind was brutal (Don’t you love that word?) All in all, the graphic novel and the movie are pure brilliance. Allan Moore is a genious for even thinking of an idea for a book so strangely intricate that unfolds and leaves you thinking. (I think you readers are growing tired of my variations of the word “complex”.) This is by far the best superhero movie I have ever seen and maybe even the best superhero movie ever made. FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS.


Be Somebody

March 4, 2009

If I had to choose one song to die to, I would never be able to choose. Thursday’s “Understanding In a Car Crash” is just so perfect to me. Almost like poetry. The lyrics are just so brutal and beautiful. The guitar puts you on edge as goosebumps crawl up and down your arms and legs. Hot tears bubbling at your eyes; deep breaths.

So push the seats back a little further
Roll the windows down and take a breath
I can see the headlights coming
They paint the world in red and broken glass
The spinning hubcaps set the tempo for
the music of a broken window
When the lights are on and the cameras click
We open up the lens to broken glass and it’s over in a flash

Or another favorite of mine is “The Scientist” by Coldplay. The lyrics, Nobody said it was easy. Nobody said it would be so hard. ring in my ears like they are something to live by. Honestly, living is the hard part, death could be rather easy. You just die. That’s it. Everything. Gone. Over. Nothing more than that. Now Lovedrug’s “Doomsday and the Echo” is oh so lovely. I adore every last lyric to this song. I cannot even begin to explain how much I love it. “Everything Starts Where it Ends” is brilliant as well, though there is something about “Doomsday and the Echo” that makes me itch over each sentence as though I should be analyzing it.

Can’t walk it off
Can’t come clean
               Later going on to…

Hey, just woke up and already I’m a losing
Messed up everything again
Drink up, pass the gun again
Hey, just woke up and already I’m a losing
Messed up everyone again
Someone pass the gun again

I got to thinking about this subject after thinking I was a failure. Playing guitar is one of my dreams and I have to succeed at it. Guitar lessons have been going… not so good. At least I don’t feel I’ve been doing nearly good enough. I want to friggen’ shred! I want to riff and rock. I want to be up on stage, sweat dripping from my body. Being a phenomenal performer such as Jason Hale or Jimi Hendrix. The spectacular sound as well, maybe the cleanest you’ve ever heard? I want to be the best of the best. Each lesson I’d like to be told I am amazing at guitar even if I am still a beginner. I would love for those words to be spoken honest and truthful. I guess plan “B”, which is writing, is what I should try to shoot for, for now. I’ll do my best to improve my writing each and every day. Giving every writing assignment 110% percent whether it is stupid or not. As most have you have heard the saying, “No problem.” let me introduce a new one to you all. No promises. 

Reader,  I don’t fully understand myself either, but leaving earth with a sad song just seems like a good way to go. When I die I want to be cremated, I want my (Alleged I suppose. Though trust me, Kat Von D IS going to tattoo me.) tattoos to tell my story before I am burned to ashes. I want them to play one of my song choices for death. I want to be remembered.

Current song of choice at the moment, “The Undertaker’s Thirst For Revenge Is Unquenchable (The Final Battle)” by Chiodos.

And all the world’s a stage
I existed because I dreamed
And well, I dream no more
I’ve given up on the entire human race


Brought To Tears…

February 18, 2009

02/17/09

Last night while watching a To Write Love On Her Arms video on YouTube, I came across a video called “The Way She Feels Part 2”. Curious ol’ me, I clicked on it. It happened to the be the making of Between The Trees’ music video for “The Way She Feels”. You see Between The Trees are big supporters of the TWLOHA foundation. In fact, they knew Renee Yohe before To Write Love on Her Arms was even started. The lead singer, Ryan Kirkland, had befriended Renee. Though it was a big burden to carry, Ryan remained trustworthy of Renee. Finally it got to a point where it was almost too much, and they needed to get her to rehab. — Anyway, back to the video. — The song was written about Renee and her struggle with cutting. As I watched this video for the first time last night, I was just barely in tears and had become the start of a new Between The Trees fan. As of today, I know all of the lyrics to “The Way She Feels” and I savor every last bit of them. Reader, the beautiful song, “The Way She Feels” by Between The Trees.


REVIEW: “Burned” by Ellen Hopkins

January 31, 2009

My mother was kind enough to pick a copy up for me a few days ago. I devoured the whole book in one day. I was glued to just about every page as I was addicted to Ethan and Pattyn’s romance, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Pattyn Von Stratten is a good Mormon girl. She feels plain,as she takes care of her stay-at-home mother’s jobs like cleaning, washing clothes, and taking care of her six younger siblings (technically five) along with the help of her favorite sister. While her mother lays around the house all day. When her father comes home with “Joannie” most nights, there is trouble. The kids are rushed back to their rooms as their mother takes the blow. The abuse. Pattyn has her first sex dream, and it involves her school crush. Though instead of kissing Justin, it is Derrick who steals her heart for the moment. After the first kiss there are a lot more, with tequila and beer along the way. One day her father finds her in the said, “compromising position”, and things keep going in a downward spiral for Pattyn until finally her father sends her to live with her Aunt J for the summer.

Living with Pattyn’s Aunt J was supposed to be a punishment not a reward, but things start to go Pattyn’s way. Then she meets Ethan. This can’t just be a summer fling, right? Right. Ethan shows Pattyn love, more than she had asked for. Though if her father were to ever find out she was dating than, Ethan who was not Mormon, they both would be dead. Literally. Pattyn has to go back home at the end of summer vacation. *** SPOILER ALERT*** As Pattyn takes the abuse from her father, bruises and blood are left. After that she finds out she is pregnant. Pregnant with Ethan’s baby. Plans are made for Ethan to come down and get Pattyn one day after school to take some time to ponder what they are going to do. Not noticing someone has taken off their licence plates, the police attempt to pull Ethan and Pattyn over during their “escape” drive. Pattyn orders Ethan not to stop, go faster. Until the accident. Ethan and the baby are both gone, dead. Pattyn is devastated (so was I) and decides life no longer matters….

I absolutely adored this book. I was intrigued with Pattyn and Ethan’s romance, which I wish could be real ALL the time. I loved her Aunt J, she reminded me of the woman who played Bella’s (Twilight) mother IN THE MOVIE. Happy, outgoing, smart, loving. I wish I had an aunt like that, cross that, I do. I was terribly annoyed that her mother, her sister, nor her own self told anyone (minus Ethan) about their beatings from their father/husband. This book explored the emotions of  joy, excitement, lust and love, complete with anger, hurt, devastation, and tragedy. Weaving together a masterpiece, which I would recommend to any Ellen Hopkins fans or just someone looking for a quick yet intriguing and beautiful read. FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS.


A Little Bit of Hurt

January 4, 2009

If you really take a good hard look at what the world is like, sometimes I think it is better to be in denial. With these terrible house guests I’ve learned a lot. First of all, I never thought I would meet people so screwed up. I mean if I were one of them I wouldn’t be alive right now. Their mother is a lazy, pot smoking, psycho who doesn’t have a clue how to treat or care for a child.

My dad works at a R&B night club. I thought that was ironic, because my dad hates crowds, loud music, and being up until three in the morning. Though, if you have been out of work for a year then I see where he is coming from. My father had hired Abby as a female bouncer.  One night Libby and Layla are up at five in the morning and my dad arrives home from The Boats and they ask, “Where is our mom?” Abby should have been there way before my father so he replied, “I don’t know.” We never found out where she was or who she was with, but that happened more than once. Abby lied to my family, her daughters, and god knows who else. My dad was fed up with it so we are kicking them out. All I can think is, “FREE AT LAST!!!!!”  Yet, it also makes me sad because whether or not I liked those girls they aren’t better off with or without their mother. My mom said to me, “Honey I don’t think there is going to be a happy ending for these girls.” I’ve been thinking about that since my mother told me that.

Tonight it made me think back to a movie I saw early last year or so. Actually I think it was couple of years ago, I’m not quite sure. Anyway, the movie was called “Grave Of The Fireflies”. grave20of20the20fireflies20dvd1I don’t remember much of it. A boy and his little sister living in Japan at the end of World War II. Their mother dies of burn wounds, their father dies in the war, and in the end his little sister who was only around three or four years of age dies of starvation. Oh yeah, the boy dies too. In the movie that boy loved his litle sister so much, it made me sad she was tooken away from him. The last member left from his family other than himself. I wanted to cry so badly after I saw that movie. Heck, I might have I don’t remember. I couldn’t erase the memories of it that night as I tried to sleep. I wasn’t even old enough to understand it enough, I was just sad the little girl had died. Right now I feel like watching that movie again. It was amazing, poignant, or maybe brutal is a better word, but beautiful. You only need to see this movie a couple times so I am urging you to go read more about it on this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grave_of_the_Fireflies 

Sometimes I think we all need a little bit of hurt in our lives. To prove that we are strong enough to move on without feeling sorrowful our whole lives.