We like Paul Griffiths

September 18, 2009

I have news! Oh, I’m so excited even though it isn’t much. In my last blog post I told you about the girl who I share similarities with, right? Well, my friend Antoinette introduced me to her! Even though we haven’t spoken much, I would love, love, love it if I could be considered one of her close friends eventually. I have this plan in my head that I will go to the All Time Low concert with her in November.

I asked her about her Babycakes shirt one morning. Then I asked if she met the Babycakes guy at Warped Tour and she said, “Oh you mean Paul Griffiths? No, I wish. I bought that shirt at Warped Tour.” Then I told her I was there and gushed how cute Paul Griffiths is. As we made our way to her locker I asked who her favorite band she saw at Warped was and guess what she said… ALL TIME LOW!! You don’t even now how excited I was then and there! (Gosh, I haven’t typed this many exclamation points in such a long time. Nor have been this excited about a new friend.)

I wrote my first Science Current Event article yesterday which I turned in today. I feel pretty proud of it. It’s about how black patients seem less likely to survive cardiac arrest than white patients. I also finished my geography “exam” today.

I have so much new music to share with you, but I guess I will save some of it. First of all, I was listening to old You Me At Six demo songs on YouTube and I think I like their old sound better. Listen to “Promise, Promise” compared to “Finders Keepers”. They have changed immensely. Secondly, I like a guy who calls himself Owl City. I get to go to one of his free shows in October. Lastly, I finally bought All Time Low’s new album, Nothing Personal Wednesday night when I was supposed to be doing my homework. Oh well, music is better. Wait – one last thing. I have enough money to go see The Used and Brand New! I should celebrate. All of this makes me wonder if anyone has noticed my mood change.

Song Of The Day – “Lights Out” by Santigold http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwNkuw-YTVo

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We’re screaming at the same moon.

August 20, 2009

Craig Owens’s screaming is calming me down right now. It’s keeping me in the clouds. His screaming does two things for me. Either I want to headbang to the sound of Chiodos’s music or I want to go to relax to it. Not that it’s boring, but that it calms me down and puts me in a mixture of reality and fiction. It’s like I could pretend I feel the same way as Craig did after his first love broke his heart (thus he wrote an album about her). Yet this time I feel more like the instrumental rather than the lyrics. It’s like when I was listening to Brand New’s Déjà Entendu record.

Press my face up against the glass
with both eyelids shut and
baby this won’t get any easier
baby this won’t get any easier
baby this won’t get any easier

I’ll lie on the dirty carpeting in my room (that can’t be fixed unless we were willing to pay for new wood floors) and breathe. I like taking deep breaths because it makes me feel a little better. It takes some of the frustration away. — I sound cheesy again. — When I push all the frustration back I feel like and old toy disguised as a new one.

It’s not a big deal. It has been three weeks since my last guitar lesson but I’m mad at myself. This is part of learning, but I am always angry at myself for not knowing what he might throw at me. School starts next week. I was supposed to read two non-fiction books from a list they sent me. I lost the list and didn’t read the books. I have to be tested on them. I guess I’m just looking for more stuff to mope about.

We all have our good days and our bad days, yesterday was a mixture of the two.

Song Of The Day – “No Hardcore Dancing In The Living Room” by Chiodos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJCX_Nit388

chiodos lyrics


I’m sinking like a stone in the sea.

June 6, 2009

6/6/09

I keep taking deep breaths because it feels like forgot how to breathe. I breathe too slow or to quick; not taking in enough oxygen or too much air. During the school year my little brother would breathe through his mouth heavily. Sometimes he would cry at night and I didn’t know why. It annoyed me terribly and I kept trying to explain to him why he didn’t need to breathe that way. Now I know the feeling. All of the sudden in the middle of the day I think, I don’t know what to do. You are probably thinking, About what? Well, I don’t know either. I just feel so utterly overwhelmed by everything. It’s summer time, right? I shouldn’t bother having to feel this way, but I do. And I am scared. I don’t know what will happen in a few hours or even a few days. Nobody really does. I mean, you might have a few events mapped out, but you don’t know what those moments of the day will feel like.

I went to my mother for advice and what she said was, “Just go and babysit. Once when you get home you can figure out what to do next.” I liked this idea, but this is all new for me. I’m used to planning out my day and setting goals, whether I realized it or not. This unpredictable schedule is throwing me off a bit. Today, I don’t want this day to slip away from me like all the other days do. Wasted and chasing time. Please time, stand still for only a day or two.

Brand New’s album Deja Entendu feels like my soundtrack. The events probably don’t quite match up, but the instrumentals capture my mood. In some songs Jesse Lacey almost whispers and I turn up my volume to savor his words. Especially in “Tautou”, which is one of my favorites though it’s only a minute and a half long.

I want to make this day last, but I don’t seem to know how. All I know is that I don’t want Monday to come. Please, not yet. If everyday was Saturday then I’d be fine with that. I’m still confused why I’m scared of what is next to come….