Whoever she is.

March 8, 2010

I would like to set a goal for myself and for anyone who wants to tag along. All this week I will listen to only happy music. I will admit I sold out and began listening to Never Shout Never, but that is only because I read his article in AP magazine (he seems like a really nice, incredibly cool person). Today is a start because I got off the bus and the spring feeling filled me up like a glass of water, washing away any bad feelings. The first song that popped into my head as I began to walk down the sidewalk was “This Is The End” by The Maine, so I sang the words to myself and smiled. It made me happy just hearing John Ohh’s voice inside my head.

It is about 63 degrees outside and sunny with a slight overcast sky and a cooling breeze. The best type of weather I would say: cardigan weather. – When I reached my front porch I found my dad sitting there reading a book. I walked into the house and smiled at the reflection of my wildly curly hair and then placed my copy of The Maine’s Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop album into my CD player. I have begun to think of music in seasons and I can tell you The Maine sound so much like spring. The grass is starting to green and small flowers coil around fences only to be picked up and set in little girls’ hair.

I received several hugs today from Trinh and Taylor and reminisced with M and A about our day yesterday gallivanting around the neighborhood. (We walked over to The Sweet Guy and picked up gelatos, stopped at two parks, had a duel with the plastic and wooden swords I brought over, were chased by our younger brothers on scooters, told jokes about Geico Car Insurance, and made a sanctuary.) School wasn’t so bad and thankfully my science class didn’t have to make up the quiz about electricity and whatnot.

Right now while I am still listening to The Maine I just want to run or have someone to dance with. I am really hoping to the goddess Athena and even the titan Cronus that something good will come of this weather. I need something good in my life that will lift these heavy spirits. There are too many people and good friends that I know who are extremely depressed right now. Who knows maybe Elisha from HOLY Mountain will introduce me to some cool people (who are NOT annoying and immature) who just get music. Or maybe nothing will happen and I will just talk to him with Jane after their show on the 22nd.

“She could be rainy days, minimum wage, a book that ends with no last page. Whoever she is, whoever she may be one thing’s for sure, you don’t have to worry.” – The Maine



I want to scream at the top of my lungs.

June 25, 2009

I can’t stop smiling. I want to scream and punch things like a mad woman, but I can’t. Instead, I’ll just smile and run in circles while listening to Taking Back Sunday.

Last night I said to my mother, “I would do anything to see Taking Back Sunday again.” “Well, hon, it’s over. You can’t be mad about it,” she replied. My mother had it wrong. I wasn’t mad, I was extremely sad. I wanted to have a good cry over it. Really, I should be lucky I even saw Taking Back Sunday at all. Instead, I moped about not being close to the stage or to put it this way, I couldn’t see the stage at all. All I heard was my voice next to Adam Lazzara’s voice. It was like watching a YouTube video.

I sat on the bus today, God knows how hot it was. The humidity was stiffling, and I could just barely breathe. I flipped on my phone and pulled up the interent. I immeadiately checked my email, hoping there would be something worth reading. I opened one my mother had sent me. My jaw dropped. Taking Back Sunday were coming back to Kansas City September 4th with Blink-182 and Weezer. To top that off, tickets were only twenty dollars.

I turned to my friend and grabbed her arms and shook her wildly. “GUESS WHAT?! TAKING BACK SUNDAY ARE COMING BACK TO KANSAS CITY!!!” I yelled, hopping up and down in my seat. “Phoenixx, calm down,” she said to me, but I couldn’t. My stomach was way too excited to simply calm down. I knew instantly that this was going to be a damn good bus ride home.

Nothing mattered. All I cared about at that moment were tickets. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs with joy and race up my front porch. I wanted to kick at things violently because no one knew what I was feeling. I felt amazing.

I later found out the twenty dollar tickets sold out, BUT thirty five dollar tickets were still available. So of course I bought them. Nothing matters. Though Taking Back Sunday do matter, and I want to live in the moment of their performance because I know it will be stunning.


It remains a mystery.

June 13, 2009

6/12/09

This week has been tiring. Waking up at six in the morning to attend summer school. Though this summer school is really just an orientation to prepare me for the new school year, I am no fan. Each day in PE I have had to do ninety crunches, ten or more push-ups, wall squats, running (but that was pretty easy and surprisingly fun) and today an exersize called six inches. I can handle the crunches but those darn push-ups make my wee little arms wobble. Yes, I do have muscles, but they aren’t massive.
The school days are fairly short (they end at 12:20 PM) yet there is still the bus ride home. I don’t even have any idea how many kids ride my bus, but it can take up to an hour for me to make it safely back to my front door. The bus driver is no help. Whenever she nears my house she passes it up for another stop farther away. That annoys me. A lot. All I can say right now is thank gawd for Fridays!!

I sighed in relief when I got home. I just wanted some time to myself, to think. Extra time to listen to my favorite albums and more importantly, time to write!

I was on the computer this afternoon, checking my email when my mother suggested she would take me to the mall. Or should I say Hot Topic? I was excited to spend the last of my money because I am no good at saving it, and I had enough for a T-shirt or two. If any of you have read some of my previous posts, the first thing that came to mind was Eli. I have never seen him there on a Friday night, but it’s summer time now, schedules change, so you never know. I won’t lie, my heart did feel a little odd. It felt like it sped up for a second.

I walked into Hot Topic wearing my new plaid, blue and pink, button-down Urban Outfitters shirt. (I was glad I could wear my fancy new shirt out.) I didn’t know what I was looking for in Hot Topic. I hadn’t been into Hot Topic for ages it seemed. But I did have a Kings Of Leon shirt in mind. This winter someone *cough, cough* Lance *cough, cough* told me they didn’t like Kings Of Leon. I acted mock appalled and “gasped”. You see, I like irony so the next time I see him with his kids I’ll say, “Oh yeah, KINGS OF LEON BABY!” and point to my shirt. Ironic, eh?

I looked around the store, no Eli. I was almost affraid he didn’t work there anymore (and I still am actually). So I browsed the CD section and eyed the employee picks intensely. I couldn’t see Eli’s name anywhere. It’s not like I talk to him or anything, but it would be nice to see a cute guy’s face every once and a while. To see his clammy pale face matched with dark brown, almost black hair. Sweet eyes and golden eyelashes. His slight frame and dare I say swagger? This may sound creepy, but if a guy you think is cute kinda likes you too that’s not so bad (or at least acts like he likes you). I can easily say I am a hopeless romantic, but I’m not searching for love. Not at this age, no friggen’ way man.

I waked out of Hot Topic with the Kings Of Leon shirt (it even has their faces on it) and an Emily The Strange leopard print tank top. (It seems HT has stopped selling Zotz. Oh, how I will miss those dear Zotz.)
I talked my mom into purchasing a fabulous pair or Baker heels. They have a jeweled cuff around the ankle that almost look like bracelets. They look like those beads you can find in the ocean in Mexico. I think she is happy, she hasn’t splurged on shoes lately.

What my point is, it remains a mystery to me if “Mr. Eli Cullen” is or is not still and employee working at Hot Topic.