We’ve got a big mess on our hands

July 7, 2009

Damn, guilt.

How do you uninvite someone to go somewhere with you? Like the Vans Warped Tour, perhaps? Why can’t I just keep my mouth shut? I was looking to take someone my age, or a little older, but not her. We like a couple of the same bands but I just can’t see myself at a Chiodos set with her. I can’t see myself meeting John O’Callaghan from The Maine with her either.

Maybe her mom won’t let her go, but that’s selfish of me, isn’t it? Though this isn’t just anyone, this is Sarah. Sarah and I… we aren’t the same. We are friends but we are very different people. This is the girl likes to start arguments over silly misunderstandings, the girl who called me a bitch. I know those things are over and done with now, but I’m mainly just searching for excuses. I guess I shouldn’t bother inviting anyone to Warped Tour. Everything I say is a mess.

If I don’t bring it up again, maybe nothing will happen. I should just stick to keeping my concerts a secret from my friends like I did during the school year. If that’s going to work MY MOTHER needs to keep her mouth shut and stop bragging to people about it. I like to keep things secret, understood? What am I going to do?

In the words of William Beckett,
We’ve got a big, big mess on our hands tonight
Somebody get my phone so I can throw it in a public pool
and watch it float
And as it’s slowly sinking down become a social ghost

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Career Day: Musician

May 21, 2009

5/20/09

In the words of Doug H. being a musician takes three things, hard work, hard work, and more hard work. “Does anyone here love music?” Doug asked. Most of the audience replied yes, then Doug asked again, “Do you really love music? And I mean love. Not just, Oh yeah, I ‘love’ music.”

That glamorous life you have all heard about, it isn’t real. “About one in a million bands get the limousines, concerts, and money,” Doug said. If you truly enjoy making reckless, yet joyful noise on your instrument of choice then go for it. But if you really love it then you won’t just practice oh say, thirty minutes a day. Doug continued, “We’re talkin’ three to five hours a day and you practice that long because you feel like you need to.”

According to Doug H. as a musician you are never simply finished. There is always something to work on, something to improve. There are many reasons why you shouldn’t become a musician. It’s hard to pay rent et cetera. And it is extremely hard to “make it” as a fellow musician. If you are passionate about making and listening to music then all the fame, glory, and money shouldn’t matter. Some people may ask why you would “throw away” so much to be a musician, but it’s what you want and you do it because you love it.


Amazing Because It Is

May 20, 2009

5/19/09

Yep, if you’re guessing the title of this post was inspired by The Almost’s song “Amazing Because It Is” then you are correct! I’m back with the usual topic, music. If you are a frequent reader of my blog I know this must get annoying. Unless of course you enjoy finding out about good bands and reading a young girl’s concert reviews. I should probably just say this is a blog meant for talking about music. But you see, some days I feel angsty or inspired and I want to be able to express that. So if you are already bored by my rambling I suggest you read something else.

I used to consider myself a music obsesser. Really, I’m just a music addict. It’s hard not for me to be without music for just one day. And today you will learn about me being inspired and listening to The Almost and Underoath, and mainly talking about Aaron Gillespie. Here’s the deal, one day way back when I heard about a band called Underoath. When I heard Underoath I couldn’t understand how someone could listen to another person’s screaming. Literally. My music taste has matured and changed quite a bit, and now I do appreciate some impressive screaming. I later heard about a little band called The Almost.

Now it’s May of 2009 and I’m listening to The Almost (and Underoath) and loving every single one of their songs. The overwhelming sound of Aaron Gillespie’s voice makes me stop what I’m doing just to finish the song. My personal favorite is “Dirty and Left Out”. You know you have those artists or albums that you can listen to over and over again? (In my mother’s case, it is Snow Patrol.) I have just found that band, and The Almost’s album is quite fabulous. And the fact that Aaron recorded all the instruments except for a few tracks on the album without anyone else is astonishing (he later formed the band). I find Aaron to be an amazing vocalist and drummer and I wrote this post to acknowledge that.


The Little Things

February 2, 2009

Today I was at least hopeful, and not completely negative. In fact I was secretly excited to go to PE, but keep that a secret. I’m trying hard to focus on my work when Sarah, Veronica, and I get to talking about the Katy Perry concert. Veronica: “I really want to go, but my mom says no since it’s at a bar. But I might get to see The Killers!” My heart sinks. I cannot remember if I spilled the beans or what, but I pray to god that the tickets will soon be sold out before she gets her hands on them. Me: “Oh.” That was all I managed to say. Veronica is barely a Killers fan; I wish I could strangle her right now. I come back with, “Yeah, I love The Killers. I have all their albums.” I understand that was a total cat-ish thing to do, but to be honest, that was what I was aiming for. Yeah, yeah, she knows one song. In my book, that is called a poseur fan. You might not understand how it can get under my skin so much, but I like doing things on my own. Without friends to ask to “hang out” with me when all they do insult me.

 Sarah speaks, “Phoenixx don’t take this the wrong way, but my brother thinks-” I finish for her, “That I’m to young to go to Warped Tour. I know, you told me.” She goes on about how he said I was too young to go to concerts, listen to this kind of music, “besides I might think I know what they are talking about, but I really don’t”. Now, the last of that sentence was a quote. All I could think was, WHY DOES HE (YOU) ****ING CARE?!?!?! It’s not like it is any of his business. Note to self: Never speak of any concerts near my “friends”… ever. This is one reason why I love to isolate myself from everyone. Just when I’ve dusted myself back off, they bite back with words. I reply to Sarah, “What I am I supposed to listen to, Hannah Montana?!?!?!” I wish I could scream in her face. In fact both of them, but I’ve got a “good girl” reputation and I wish I could show them my venom.

 Later that day Madeline comes over to me, “Phoeni, I can’t believe you are gonna bail on me with the Katy Perry concert!” I’m sorry, but I would like to save my money for other concerts and merchandise money. I reply to her, “I’m sorry, but I wanted to see The Killers.” “Yeah, but still.” she continues. I respond, “Yeah, but it’s THE KILLERS.” Veronica was sitting next to me. Of course then she starts talking about bands, which leads to a dream she had, which leads to money. With that someone asks what she would do with the money. Veronica: “Um, go to concerts, buy clothes, shoes.” Go to concerts was her first answer. I know for a fact she wouldn’t even have thought about it if I hadn’t brought it up. God, why do I have to be such an idiot?!

I suppose, I shouldn’t get mad over things so little as these, but it’s the little things that make me itch.