I am so pathetically bored.

June 13, 2009

This is one of my favorite sets I’ve made on Polyvore. And right now I am pathetically bored. I feel like shopping or going to see a movie. Really, I just want to get out of my house. I am tired of all of the same items I see everyday. I want see something new and different. I want to go out to the Plaza and sit by one of the fountains. To sit by a fountain and just think. Plan things out, and think about what I want. To sit by a fountain and people watch. To try and guess a little bit about them. Well, I’m starting to sound like Stargirl now so I’ll just post the set. Here:

The Strokes - Barely Legal
The Strokes – Barely Legal by behindthe_sea featuring Coach accessories
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It remains a mystery.

June 13, 2009

6/12/09

This week has been tiring. Waking up at six in the morning to attend summer school. Though this summer school is really just an orientation to prepare me for the new school year, I am no fan. Each day in PE I have had to do ninety crunches, ten or more push-ups, wall squats, running (but that was pretty easy and surprisingly fun) and today an exersize called six inches. I can handle the crunches but those darn push-ups make my wee little arms wobble. Yes, I do have muscles, but they aren’t massive.
The school days are fairly short (they end at 12:20 PM) yet there is still the bus ride home. I don’t even have any idea how many kids ride my bus, but it can take up to an hour for me to make it safely back to my front door. The bus driver is no help. Whenever she nears my house she passes it up for another stop farther away. That annoys me. A lot. All I can say right now is thank gawd for Fridays!!

I sighed in relief when I got home. I just wanted some time to myself, to think. Extra time to listen to my favorite albums and more importantly, time to write!

I was on the computer this afternoon, checking my email when my mother suggested she would take me to the mall. Or should I say Hot Topic? I was excited to spend the last of my money because I am no good at saving it, and I had enough for a T-shirt or two. If any of you have read some of my previous posts, the first thing that came to mind was Eli. I have never seen him there on a Friday night, but it’s summer time now, schedules change, so you never know. I won’t lie, my heart did feel a little odd. It felt like it sped up for a second.

I walked into Hot Topic wearing my new plaid, blue and pink, button-down Urban Outfitters shirt. (I was glad I could wear my fancy new shirt out.) I didn’t know what I was looking for in Hot Topic. I hadn’t been into Hot Topic for ages it seemed. But I did have a Kings Of Leon shirt in mind. This winter someone *cough, cough* Lance *cough, cough* told me they didn’t like Kings Of Leon. I acted mock appalled and “gasped”. You see, I like irony so the next time I see him with his kids I’ll say, “Oh yeah, KINGS OF LEON BABY!” and point to my shirt. Ironic, eh?

I looked around the store, no Eli. I was almost affraid he didn’t work there anymore (and I still am actually). So I browsed the CD section and eyed the employee picks intensely. I couldn’t see Eli’s name anywhere. It’s not like I talk to him or anything, but it would be nice to see a cute guy’s face every once and a while. To see his clammy pale face matched with dark brown, almost black hair. Sweet eyes and golden eyelashes. His slight frame and dare I say swagger? This may sound creepy, but if a guy you think is cute kinda likes you too that’s not so bad (or at least acts like he likes you). I can easily say I am a hopeless romantic, but I’m not searching for love. Not at this age, no friggen’ way man.

I waked out of Hot Topic with the Kings Of Leon shirt (it even has their faces on it) and an Emily The Strange leopard print tank top. (It seems HT has stopped selling Zotz. Oh, how I will miss those dear Zotz.)
I talked my mom into purchasing a fabulous pair or Baker heels. They have a jeweled cuff around the ankle that almost look like bracelets. They look like those beads you can find in the ocean in Mexico. I think she is happy, she hasn’t splurged on shoes lately.

What my point is, it remains a mystery to me if “Mr. Eli Cullen” is or is not still and employee working at Hot Topic.


Amazing Because It Is

May 20, 2009

5/19/09

Yep, if you’re guessing the title of this post was inspired by The Almost’s song “Amazing Because It Is” then you are correct! I’m back with the usual topic, music. If you are a frequent reader of my blog I know this must get annoying. Unless of course you enjoy finding out about good bands and reading a young girl’s concert reviews. I should probably just say this is a blog meant for talking about music. But you see, some days I feel angsty or inspired and I want to be able to express that. So if you are already bored by my rambling I suggest you read something else.

I used to consider myself a music obsesser. Really, I’m just a music addict. It’s hard not for me to be without music for just one day. And today you will learn about me being inspired and listening to The Almost and Underoath, and mainly talking about Aaron Gillespie. Here’s the deal, one day way back when I heard about a band called Underoath. When I heard Underoath I couldn’t understand how someone could listen to another person’s screaming. Literally. My music taste has matured and changed quite a bit, and now I do appreciate some impressive screaming. I later heard about a little band called The Almost.

Now it’s May of 2009 and I’m listening to The Almost (and Underoath) and loving every single one of their songs. The overwhelming sound of Aaron Gillespie’s voice makes me stop what I’m doing just to finish the song. My personal favorite is “Dirty and Left Out”. You know you have those artists or albums that you can listen to over and over again? (In my mother’s case, it is Snow Patrol.) I have just found that band, and The Almost’s album is quite fabulous. And the fact that Aaron recorded all the instruments except for a few tracks on the album without anyone else is astonishing (he later formed the band). I find Aaron to be an amazing vocalist and drummer and I wrote this post to acknowledge that.


Hello and Goodbye

May 17, 2009

Well Mackenzie, you’re almost eighteen and graduating high school. Let me just say, I am utterly sorry I cannot be at your graduation ceremony today. Though I hope you didn’t mind us calling to say hello.

I remember when you would come and stay with us for a week or so over the summer. My parents would pay you to watch my siblings and I and clean house a little. I think you were either twelve or thirteen when you said, “When I’m eighteen maybe I could drive you to the mall and we could go shopping together.” Or at least something like that. You have always been my favorite cousin and the nicest. Using your manners and if you ever did get mad or annoyed by me, you didn’t show it. I used to look up to you like you were the coolest girl on the planet. You would take me to the mall or play Barbies with me. There were times when you didn’t want to hang out with me, but you never did it in a mean way.

Now you’re going to college and turning eighteen and I’m still stuck at school. It feels like some parts of the years go by so quick while others drag on, and two weeks can feel like two months. Occasionally we would email each other, but I ran out of things to say. All I can say now is happy graduation and good luck when you go off to college this fall.

xoxox,

— Phoenixx


Who Watches The Watchmen?

March 11, 2009

03/08/09

Who watches the Watchmen?

I did. Though I missed the premiere on Friday, I made it to a matinee show Sunday afternoon. –I usually loathe Sundays, I find them miserable. Knowing that another week of school starts the very next day. Back to the movie.– I am a superhero movie geek. I’ve seen every Spider Man movie, most of the X-Men films, Electra, Dare Devil, Superman Returns, Batman Begins , Batman: Dark Knight, (In fact, when I was around five and seven, I used to watch the “Batman Beyond” series. For for Christmas last year, one of the gifts I received was the first PG-13 Batman cartoon movie! “Batman: Gotham Knight”.) Iron Man, Hellboy, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and Wanted. Though I am yet to see “Push” and interested in the new “Wolverine” movie they have in store for us later this year!

Fresh out of reading the graphic novel I remembered just about everything. Seeing scenes from the movie and the book collaborate together. The special effects made certain things stand out, the most noticeable being their costumes. The patterns and nutural matalic colors on Nite Owl and Ozymandias suits were simply neat. Doctor Manhattan’s glow of energy was almost a soft neon blue in a way. It made me think the things he’d touch would feel a slight electric shock. The actors and actresses looked almost exactly alike to their characters in the book. Malin Åkerman was the perfect woman to play the Silk Spectre. Although her costume was revealing, I loved the patent shine. Rorschach was my favorite character and still remains my favorite character. I found that I became addcited his edge, his merciless personality, and his black and white shape changing mask. The quote that I can remember most of Rorschach’s is also my favorite. “All the whores and politicians will look up and shout, ‘Save us!’… and I will whisper, ‘No.'” The film production of “Watchmen” stayed true to the book down to certain quotes from the characters, but minor scenes were rearranged and taken out. Most importantly, the ending was changed. I do miss the newspaper stand parts which would include another comic that vaguely relates to the some of the plot.

Watchmen opens up with small bits of the past. Shots of the original Watchmen. Pictures being taken. The actual move begins with The Comedian’s death. His death was precise and the track that was playing during that scene was Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” made it seem elegant in a twisted way. The Comedian put up a pretty good fight before he was thrown out a window. Though what do you expect? He’s six foot two and more than two hundred pounds of muscle. The movie basicly revolves around his death, opening up into inner and outter conflict that the characters have.

I never had payed much attention to the doomsday clock in the novel, but now that I look over the chapters it shows a small picture of it in each illustration of the chapters. The director captured each character so precisely. From their look so their inner fear, struggles, misunderstandings, and personality. While reading “Watchmen” I found it hard to relate to Dr.Manhattan because he was treated like a god, yet he couldn’t relate nor understand human beings. In the film, I became much more attached to him for a number of reasons (and no, not because he was nude… *awkward silence*). First of all the actor who played Doctor Manhattan was Billy Crudup who happened to be Russell from “Almost Famous“. I have a favorite quote of his as well *wink*. “She is beautiful. After each long kiss, she plants a smaller, gentler one upon my lips, like a signature.” They kept this in the movie and I was thrilled about this.

“Watchmen” is filled with non-stop violence and action that can be painful to watch, yet leaves you waiting for the next scene whether it’s chilling and gut-wrenching (I cringed once or twice) or a kissing scene that could possibly turn into a sex scene. The emotion I felt while in the theatre at times was overwhelming for me. Without reading the book most things will take you by surprise and leave you pondering later on. It is complex and confusing and I don’t know how many people are able to put the events together to find who The Comedian’s killer is.

Walking out of the theatre dazed, mouthing the lyrics to My Chemical Romance’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row”. The first word that entered my mind was brutal (Don’t you love that word?) All in all, the graphic novel and the movie are pure brilliance. Allan Moore is a genious for even thinking of an idea for a book so strangely intricate that unfolds and leaves you thinking. (I think you readers are growing tired of my variations of the word “complex”.) This is by far the best superhero movie I have ever seen and maybe even the best superhero movie ever made. FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS.


Be Somebody

March 4, 2009

If I had to choose one song to die to, I would never be able to choose. Thursday’s “Understanding In a Car Crash” is just so perfect to me. Almost like poetry. The lyrics are just so brutal and beautiful. The guitar puts you on edge as goosebumps crawl up and down your arms and legs. Hot tears bubbling at your eyes; deep breaths.

So push the seats back a little further
Roll the windows down and take a breath
I can see the headlights coming
They paint the world in red and broken glass
The spinning hubcaps set the tempo for
the music of a broken window
When the lights are on and the cameras click
We open up the lens to broken glass and it’s over in a flash

Or another favorite of mine is “The Scientist” by Coldplay. The lyrics, Nobody said it was easy. Nobody said it would be so hard. ring in my ears like they are something to live by. Honestly, living is the hard part, death could be rather easy. You just die. That’s it. Everything. Gone. Over. Nothing more than that. Now Lovedrug’s “Doomsday and the Echo” is oh so lovely. I adore every last lyric to this song. I cannot even begin to explain how much I love it. “Everything Starts Where it Ends” is brilliant as well, though there is something about “Doomsday and the Echo” that makes me itch over each sentence as though I should be analyzing it.

Can’t walk it off
Can’t come clean
               Later going on to…

Hey, just woke up and already I’m a losing
Messed up everything again
Drink up, pass the gun again
Hey, just woke up and already I’m a losing
Messed up everyone again
Someone pass the gun again

I got to thinking about this subject after thinking I was a failure. Playing guitar is one of my dreams and I have to succeed at it. Guitar lessons have been going… not so good. At least I don’t feel I’ve been doing nearly good enough. I want to friggen’ shred! I want to riff and rock. I want to be up on stage, sweat dripping from my body. Being a phenomenal performer such as Jason Hale or Jimi Hendrix. The spectacular sound as well, maybe the cleanest you’ve ever heard? I want to be the best of the best. Each lesson I’d like to be told I am amazing at guitar even if I am still a beginner. I would love for those words to be spoken honest and truthful. I guess plan “B”, which is writing, is what I should try to shoot for, for now. I’ll do my best to improve my writing each and every day. Giving every writing assignment 110% percent whether it is stupid or not. As most have you have heard the saying, “No problem.” let me introduce a new one to you all. No promises. 

Reader,  I don’t fully understand myself either, but leaving earth with a sad song just seems like a good way to go. When I die I want to be cremated, I want my (Alleged I suppose. Though trust me, Kat Von D IS going to tattoo me.) tattoos to tell my story before I am burned to ashes. I want them to play one of my song choices for death. I want to be remembered.

Current song of choice at the moment, “The Undertaker’s Thirst For Revenge Is Unquenchable (The Final Battle)” by Chiodos.

And all the world’s a stage
I existed because I dreamed
And well, I dream no more
I’ve given up on the entire human race


Rid Me Of This Feeling

February 15, 2009

02/15/09

I’ve got an unquenchable feeling of uncertainty. I feel it when I fall asleep at night, I hope it will not wake up to it in the morning. I feel out of place with this feeling. Like I could use it to do something daring, something that the regular Phoenixx wouldn’t do. Maybe I’m just stressing myself out for no reason. Have you ever gotten the feeling where it feels like the skin over your ribcage is tightening? That happens to me when I’m hungry and occasionally when I’m stressing. I don’t understand myself fully. One day I’m, lighting the room with my smile, the next I’m sulking because I can’t find reason in ANYTHING. Some days I don’t know what I’m worried about. Though it could be everything. There is always something wrong with the picture you see. Whether it’s small or large, but the world is obviously an imperfect place.

Music is my cure for all of that. My medicine. My hate notes. My excitement. My everything. Music is there for me. If I’m happy I “head bang” to some Paramore, if I’m feeling angry I turn on My Chemical Romance’s first album (“I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love”) and blast “Our Lady of Sorrows” while screaming the lyrics. If I’m feeling whimsical and lighthearted I might fancy for some MGMT or Vampire Weekend. If I want to dance I’ll turn on the Gym Class Heroes. Feeling indie, maybe Radiohead, Straylight Run, or Lovedrug. Needing to relax I’ll play my Feist (“The Water” is my personal favorite). Anberlin just makes me want to take a minute and think about the lyrics then get back up and jump around. The Academy Is… is a good definition of pop punk. Punk but not to ranting instead, poppy, definitely something you could jump to. Maybe I should just turn on some music. Though it will only push back problems, but maybe that’s what I want.

“You gotta swim, and swim when it hurts.” — Jack’s Manequinn

“Can’t walk it off, can’t come clean.” — Lovedrug