The Little Things

February 2, 2009

Today I was at least hopeful, and not completely negative. In fact I was secretly excited to go to PE, but keep that a secret. I’m trying hard to focus on my work when Sarah, Veronica, and I get to talking about the Katy Perry concert. Veronica: “I really want to go, but my mom says no since it’s at a bar. But I might get to see The Killers!” My heart sinks. I cannot remember if I spilled the beans or what, but I pray to god that the tickets will soon be sold out before she gets her hands on them. Me: “Oh.” That was all I managed to say. Veronica is barely a Killers fan; I wish I could strangle her right now. I come back with, “Yeah, I love The Killers. I have all their albums.” I understand that was a total cat-ish thing to do, but to be honest, that was what I was aiming for. Yeah, yeah, she knows one song. In my book, that is called a poseur fan. You might not understand how it can get under my skin so much, but I like doing things on my own. Without friends to ask to “hang out” with me when all they do insult me.

 Sarah speaks, “Phoenixx don’t take this the wrong way, but my brother thinks-” I finish for her, “That I’m to young to go to Warped Tour. I know, you told me.” She goes on about how he said I was too young to go to concerts, listen to this kind of music, “besides I might think I know what they are talking about, but I really don’t”. Now, the last of that sentence was a quote. All I could think was, WHY DOES HE (YOU) ****ING CARE?!?!?! It’s not like it is any of his business. Note to self: Never speak of any concerts near my “friends”… ever. This is one reason why I love to isolate myself from everyone. Just when I’ve dusted myself back off, they bite back with words. I reply to Sarah, “What I am I supposed to listen to, Hannah Montana?!?!?!” I wish I could scream in her face. In fact both of them, but I’ve got a “good girl” reputation and I wish I could show them my venom.

 Later that day Madeline comes over to me, “Phoeni, I can’t believe you are gonna bail on me with the Katy Perry concert!” I’m sorry, but I would like to save my money for other concerts and merchandise money. I reply to her, “I’m sorry, but I wanted to see The Killers.” “Yeah, but still.” she continues. I respond, “Yeah, but it’s THE KILLERS.” Veronica was sitting next to me. Of course then she starts talking about bands, which leads to a dream she had, which leads to money. With that someone asks what she would do with the money. Veronica: “Um, go to concerts, buy clothes, shoes.” Go to concerts was her first answer. I know for a fact she wouldn’t even have thought about it if I hadn’t brought it up. God, why do I have to be such an idiot?!

I suppose, I shouldn’t get mad over things so little as these, but it’s the little things that make me itch.


Looking Back…

January 25, 2009

I was thinking back to my first Vans Warped Tour experience last year, and how I was so unprepared! Get this, I saw Travis Clark and the rest of the guys from We The Kings at a signing, yet I was to much of a pansy to take a picture with Travis. Even after my mother nearly pushed my into him I backed right up blushing bright red in the stifling heat. I feel so much regret right now, I cannot even stand it. I’m angry with myself. I mean, it’s cool I got a picture with Maika from There For Tomorrow, but it is TRAVIS CLARK we are talking about here!!!!! And I missed Paramores’ performance, I should be ashamed. Cross that, I am ashamed! ARRGGG, this year I’ll come early, prepared with a digital camera, bottled water, a stashof money, and a sharpie for “just-in-case” signings. Let me go back to that experience…

It is about 4:00 pm and the air is so stiflingly hot. Jitters reach my body as I walk to the gate to get my ticket scanned in. I have to pitch my sunscreen, but what the hell. I came here to see Paramore. Paramore were only on seven of the dates and lucky me, I was included in one of them. I have to see Paramore, I need to! I walk in and there are merch tables just about everywhere. My jaw drops just looking at all the awesome T-shirts. -Just thinking about it sends thrills into my brain, like I could leap around the room.- (One of my first stops was to Paramore’s merchandise table. )We find the schedule and I grab one of the scattered pieces of paper just staring at the times. Paramore played at 3:00, I am sad, pissed, though I feel the need to move on at the moment. (This is what I missed ) I mark down Cobra Starship, Katy Perry, and a few other which I cannot remember.

As I walk past boat loads of sweaty teenagers, viewing make-outs, skating ramps, more merchandise tables, and then… a We The Kings signing. I wait patiently in line like all the other girls only a bit quieter. Oh my god. It’s Travis freaking Clark. He stands tall with his big, brilliant, red orange, hair and that lip ring of his I adore so much. He is definitely cuter in person. Travis is wearing a royal blue shirt that reads “Save a Boob” I smile at it and listen to him talk to the other girls in line and with Danny, Hunter, and Drew. I can’t wait to reach the front of the line. Wait a second, there are two dudes in front of me who won’t move. What are they doing?? Then a guy comes out and says, “Sorry but we gotta wrap it up.” The guys walk over for pictures and I need one with my favorite red head!! Travis stands in front of me, does he even notice me?? I just look up at him with glazed eyes, blushing red, and to timid to even ask for a picture. My mother shoves me forward almost knocking me into him. I scoot right back as if he’ll hurt me. -I was so pathetic!! Why was a such an idiot?!?!?!- My mom whispers to me, “Go ask for a picture.” Just as I’m about to ask the guy comes out again and says, “Sorry, but I’ll have to take him from ya.” I am sooo bummed. I feel like a loser, a wuss. I missed Paramore and a chance to get a friggin’ picture with Travis Clark, how could I screw this up?!?!?!? I sigh and move on.

Finally we find our friend Elizabeth. We met her during the Horrorpops performance which was really great. The lead singer was awesome, she seemed really down to earth with her big ol’ base, which she kept plucking at. Of course I didn’t know who they were at the time, but I knew I liked ’em. With that we talked, walked, bought some merch, walked past sets with screaming lead singers. (We actually came across a booth for The Greely Estates, the merchandise guy had a little cardboard box that read, “Five dollars if you can fit it.” Elizabeth picked through the box and held out a tiny shirt meant to fit a child. Elizabeth said, “Oh this will be for Mae-Mae.” I giggled. The shirt was rather scary for a little girl if you ask me, but anywhoo….)

It was about six when Cobra Straship’s set started. Elizabeth helped me get closer “seats” as kids would sing along to lyrics I didn’t quite know. I enjoyed myself for the first time instead of being so stiff. I went along with what Gabe Saporta was saying, putting my hands up even if I did look like a fool doing so. During one of their songs I heard Mayday Parade. Their set was right next to Cobra Starship’s. I would walk back and fourth until they both ended and I settled with Cobra Starship in the end. After their show I was off to their merchandise table. I bought a purple T-shirt with the hand sign for a cobra, on the back it says “Fangs Up!” and “Cobra Starship”. -Jeez how many times can I say Cobra Starship in a paragraph?!- 

Just to kill time I thought I’d go see Angles and Airwaves. I don’t know them well enough, but they are alright. I was waiting for the Gym Class Heroes set to end (which I secretly enjoyed). I guy bumped my shoulder, I turned and looked at him as he quickly spoke the word, “Sorry,” he didn’t look very old, maybe 14. He looked at me, he was kind of cute, though I’ve definitely seen cuter. 

A heavy rain storm comes in. I wanted to stay, but my mother said she saw lightening a couple times so we were off. Like most other kids I we were running back to our car in the big dirt lot, rain hitting me smack in the face, and it actually hurt too! Kids were cursing “Aw, f***” or “S***” whatever, I was cursing on the inside. When we were about to exit through the little tent, all of the sudden it went flying up in the air. A few guys struggled to hold it down as my mother and I ran, soaked in my “Gerard shoes” to our car. By the time my mother and I plopped into our little black car we were soaking wet. It was uncomfortable. I pulled my shoes off and pulled on one of my new clean shirts. My mom asked for one to wear so I handed her my Japanese Vans tee. There was a bit of a traffic jam unfortunately, but we made it through. I walked into my house with wet, untied shoes. The first thing I did was set all my merch on the table having all of my siblings ogling it.

I guess I had I pretty great time. If I’m lucky Paramore will come back to ____ this year, but I do feel bad that I went through the whole Warped Tour experience without their performance. And maybe Travis Clark will come to my house and give me a hug, then pigs will fly. Definitely.