March 5, 2010
First off, I can tell you that it is absolutely, positively impossible for me to get through a day without having one bad feeling. Having said that, I can also tell you this: I have made it through another treacherous week. There have been bad days, and for a while I had forgotten what that feels like, and good days (mainly good bus rides home). I have learned how to tell people they are annoying me in Latin and about a few mythological Greek demi-gods and kings and gotten a couple terrible grades in geography and science. So now I will go over the highlights and not so great parts of my week.
Sunday night I missed dinner because I was busy talking to Elisha of HOLY Mountain, a really great local band here, on AIM. Somehow we got to talking about music being expensive and money being tight. I told Elisha I would be at their show on the 22nd (at my favorite venue even) and he said to meet him after the show at their merch table and he’d give me a copy of their CD/demos. I thanked him but told him I already had a copy of it (I’ve listened to it a gazillion times) but he said he’d have a surprise for me anyway but I had to come get it. (Now this may sound creepy but I will remind you they are nice Christian boys and I saw them hug their dad at their last show inside the gymnasium of a church, mind you.)
On Monday I found out I definitely need glasses because I am near-sighted and will be ordering them as soon as I decide on the frames. By the time we left the eye doctor it was almost afternoon so my mom let me skip school.
Tuesday at school I had to make up some work in geography and missed one answer to get a grade of C. I found out Liz Lee had covered the song “The Funeral” by the Band of Horses on My Life As Liz, so I listened to the original version and found a download of Liz’s version as well. That night I asked my mom if she was happy and she listed off a lot of things that made her happy but also things that made her sad.
Today, Friday started out alright Latin was good like always, I tried and failed weekly the geography test. I left school and had a great bus ride home. I kept repeating, “Did I tell you I was a wizard?” My friends and I made up nicknames and now I shall be known as Rhimenosaurus. Afterwards, my dad and I picked up gelatos and I finally received my April issue of AP magazine in the mail. Up until now I was in a great mood then I found out My Chemical Romance had let their drummer, Bob Bryar go recently. Now I feel sort of unsettled.
And somehow I’m making it through this mess.
February 25, 2009
One afternoon while coming down to my chilled basement of course to log on to the computer, I checked my email. Now in my inbox I had an email titled, “Mikey Way’s wife…” The first time I saw if I thought it said “Mikey Way’s life…” and let out gasp thinking he had died. Instead it was an email from my mother. She knows the My Chemical Romance obsesser that I am and told me a woman whom she works with used to go to school with her. Now this may be cool or uninteresting, but hey, I’m just here to write, so don’t hate on Mikey or the band. –The woman’s name is Tracey, and I’m guessing she is like 27 years old and what a teeny thing she is! Tracey has auburn, chin length hair, has great bone structure in her face, and has I’m guessing a small five foot five frame. She came with my mom, Roxann, and I to the Buzz Stole Christmas concert back in December.– Anyway, Alicia Simmons, Mikey’s wife, went to the same high school. My mom said Tracey thought she was a bit strange and possibly a druggie. Tracey was unsure that Alicia had grown up to marry an awesome bassist such as Mikey Way. Then she saw a picture of Mikey and Alicia together or read in article in a music magazine and could finally believe it. Now Tracey is from Grain Valley Missouri and that gave me, the Missouri girl I am (though I live more in the city), some hope. Heck, maybe I’ll marry the next Kurt Cobain but I hope he doesn’t shoot himself in the head or snort cocaine or do any sort of drug really. In fact maybe I’LL be the next (female) Kurt Cobain without the drugs and suicide.
February 15, 2009
I’ve got an unquenchable feeling of uncertainty. I feel it when I fall asleep at night, I hope it will not wake up to it in the morning. I feel out of place with this feeling. Like I could use it to do something daring, something that the regular Phoenixx wouldn’t do. Maybe I’m just stressing myself out for no reason. Have you ever gotten the feeling where it feels like the skin over your ribcage is tightening? That happens to me when I’m hungry and occasionally when I’m stressing. I don’t understand myself fully. One day I’m, lighting the room with my smile, the next I’m sulking because I can’t find reason in ANYTHING. Some days I don’t know what I’m worried about. Though it could be everything. There is always something wrong with the picture you see. Whether it’s small or large, but the world is obviously an imperfect place.
Music is my cure for all of that. My medicine. My hate notes. My excitement. My everything. Music is there for me. If I’m happy I “head bang” to some Paramore, if I’m feeling angry I turn on My Chemical Romance’s first album (“I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love”) and blast “Our Lady of Sorrows” while screaming the lyrics. If I’m feeling whimsical and lighthearted I might fancy for some MGMT or Vampire Weekend. If I want to dance I’ll turn on the Gym Class Heroes. Feeling indie, maybe Radiohead, Straylight Run, or Lovedrug. Needing to relax I’ll play my Feist (“The Water” is my personal favorite). Anberlin just makes me want to take a minute and think about the lyrics then get back up and jump around. The Academy Is… is a good definition of pop punk. Punk but not to ranting instead, poppy, definitely something you could jump to. Maybe I should just turn on some music. Though it will only push back problems, but maybe that’s what I want.
“You gotta swim, and swim when it hurts.” — Jack’s Manequinn
“Can’t walk it off, can’t come clean.” — Lovedrug