I like secrets ’cause they keep me in line.

August 13, 2009

I wish I could play dead like Johnny Quid. Johnny knows a good RocknRolla is worth more as a dead man, so his record sales go up. Johnny is a clever junkie, but like any junkie, you can’t trust him. Why do I want to play dead? Simple, my summer is almost over and soon I’ll be heading to this unfamiliar new school. Wandering the halls mostly alone and probably keeping to myself most of the time.

I want to keep looking back to last Tuesday and thinking how quick a week goes by. Time is very frustrating. I have realized time almost always does the opposite of what you want it to do. I know school won’t be completely miserable, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m nervous like anyone else. I have my school supplies, some new clothes and a new pair of shoes (all black Authentic Vans to be exact), and my school books. Everything is set and I want to pretend like nothing is going on.

Yesterday was my school orientation. A woman in the office told me where to go to be assigned a locker and be given my books. It was overwhelming and I most likely blocked out what she was saying. “Where do we go?” my mom asked me. I shrugged my shoulders and replied, “I don’t know.” Why is it that whatever advice or direction someone gives me, it goes in one ear and right out the other? Oh right, because I’m in denial.

Sighing is nice. It feels like I’m releasing a bunch of toxins that had been in my lungs. I sigh often now. I am melodramatic and slightly hystrerical. What are ya gonna do?

Song Of The Day – “Finders Keepers” by You Me At Six http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J36je4NC4zo

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Career Day: Musician

May 21, 2009

5/20/09

In the words of Doug H. being a musician takes three things, hard work, hard work, and more hard work. “Does anyone here love music?” Doug asked. Most of the audience replied yes, then Doug asked again, “Do you really love music? And I mean love. Not just, Oh yeah, I ‘love’ music.”

That glamorous life you have all heard about, it isn’t real. “About one in a million bands get the limousines, concerts, and money,” Doug said. If you truly enjoy making reckless, yet joyful noise on your instrument of choice then go for it. But if you really love it then you won’t just practice oh say, thirty minutes a day. Doug continued, “We’re talkin’ three to five hours a day and you practice that long because you feel like you need to.”

According to Doug H. as a musician you are never simply finished. There is always something to work on, something to improve. There are many reasons why you shouldn’t become a musician. It’s hard to pay rent et cetera. And it is extremely hard to “make it” as a fellow musician. If you are passionate about making and listening to music then all the fame, glory, and money shouldn’t matter. Some people may ask why you would “throw away” so much to be a musician, but it’s what you want and you do it because you love it.


We Meet Again

February 1, 2009

I had waited all week to make my trip back to Hot Topic to see my favorite (realistic) vampire. It was almost postponed *gasp*. Thankfully I made an excuse to go down and see him, though my ride (mother) did not buy it. My younger sister’s birthday is coming up so I’d pick something out for her. (It’s quite funny, really. I have my little sisters listening to bands like My Chemical Romance, All Time Low, and Paramore. Then they’ll walk around the house singing the lyrics to “Teenagers” or as Eleanor would say, “Teenagerds”. Ha-ha!) I hope you don’t get the wrong idea and think I’m stalking him, only making a trip down to my second favorite store.

Eli is there and since it is Super Bowl Sunday, the mall is practically vacant.  I smile on the inside knowing that Eli is up at the counter. For some reason I don’t fell much excitement. That is the best part. I come down on a Sunday to end my week nicely with a feeling of excitement and joy, yet I feel plain. The feeling when you could smile at nothing for days, do cartwheels around the house, or get tingles on your arms?  Have I lost the feeling completely?

Walking around David, is nice as usual, asks the same ol’, “Do you need any help finding something?” or “You guys doin’ alright?” You have to admit, it can get a bit annoying. I found the belt I wanted. White with cute, colorful, little monster people on it. Unfortunately it is a little big, but at least it fits! For my younger sister I found a small, pink, plush, Domo doll which should fit, considering her birthday is on Valentines Day. I walk around a little, trying to time it right so Eli can ring up my items this time.

At last I am paying for my items and Eli asks, “Do you want to donate a dollar to a charity for kids so they can get a better music foundation and get one of those bags?” As he pointed to two black messenger bags. One with a skull and the other smaller one that reads “music = life” Or at least something like that. I was once again lost in my own little world, inside my head, not paying attention to what he was saying. I replied mindlessly, “Uh, sure.” While speaking to him, a heat reached my cheek bones. How many times must he make me blush?!?! Eek! I already had the smaller bag left over from Christmas. Eli replied, “Do you want the smaller one or the bigger one?” It took me a moment to reply and just said, “Um, you can just keep the dollar.” He rolled up my belt and handed me the Domo plush, our hands almost touched. I couldn’t help but to think, Jeez, he has ginormous hands!!! I decided to save a plastic bag and put my items into a Disney bag my mother and I had been carrying around.

I left the store, in the words of my friend Hannah, blushing Bella red.