Career Day: Musician

May 21, 2009

5/20/09

In the words of Doug H. being a musician takes three things, hard work, hard work, and more hard work. “Does anyone here love music?” Doug asked. Most of the audience replied yes, then Doug asked again, “Do you really love music? And I mean love. Not just, Oh yeah, I ‘love’ music.”

That glamorous life you have all heard about, it isn’t real. “About one in a million bands get the limousines, concerts, and money,” Doug said. If you truly enjoy making reckless, yet joyful noise on your instrument of choice then go for it. But if you really love it then you won’t just practice oh say, thirty minutes a day. Doug continued, “We’re talkin’ three to five hours a day and you practice that long because you feel like you need to.”

According to Doug H. as a musician you are never simply finished. There is always something to work on, something to improve. There are many reasons why you shouldn’t become a musician. It’s hard to pay rent et cetera. And it is extremely hard to “make it” as a fellow musician. If you are passionate about making and listening to music then all the fame, glory, and money shouldn’t matter. Some people may ask why you would “throw away” so much to be a musician, but it’s what you want and you do it because you love it.

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The Little Things

February 2, 2009

Today I was at least hopeful, and not completely negative. In fact I was secretly excited to go to PE, but keep that a secret. I’m trying hard to focus on my work when Sarah, Veronica, and I get to talking about the Katy Perry concert. Veronica: “I really want to go, but my mom says no since it’s at a bar. But I might get to see The Killers!” My heart sinks. I cannot remember if I spilled the beans or what, but I pray to god that the tickets will soon be sold out before she gets her hands on them. Me: “Oh.” That was all I managed to say. Veronica is barely a Killers fan; I wish I could strangle her right now. I come back with, “Yeah, I love The Killers. I have all their albums.” I understand that was a total cat-ish thing to do, but to be honest, that was what I was aiming for. Yeah, yeah, she knows one song. In my book, that is called a poseur fan. You might not understand how it can get under my skin so much, but I like doing things on my own. Without friends to ask to “hang out” with me when all they do insult me.

 Sarah speaks, “Phoenixx don’t take this the wrong way, but my brother thinks-” I finish for her, “That I’m to young to go to Warped Tour. I know, you told me.” She goes on about how he said I was too young to go to concerts, listen to this kind of music, “besides I might think I know what they are talking about, but I really don’t”. Now, the last of that sentence was a quote. All I could think was, WHY DOES HE (YOU) ****ING CARE?!?!?! It’s not like it is any of his business. Note to self: Never speak of any concerts near my “friends”… ever. This is one reason why I love to isolate myself from everyone. Just when I’ve dusted myself back off, they bite back with words. I reply to Sarah, “What I am I supposed to listen to, Hannah Montana?!?!?!” I wish I could scream in her face. In fact both of them, but I’ve got a “good girl” reputation and I wish I could show them my venom.

 Later that day Madeline comes over to me, “Phoeni, I can’t believe you are gonna bail on me with the Katy Perry concert!” I’m sorry, but I would like to save my money for other concerts and merchandise money. I reply to her, “I’m sorry, but I wanted to see The Killers.” “Yeah, but still.” she continues. I respond, “Yeah, but it’s THE KILLERS.” Veronica was sitting next to me. Of course then she starts talking about bands, which leads to a dream she had, which leads to money. With that someone asks what she would do with the money. Veronica: “Um, go to concerts, buy clothes, shoes.” Go to concerts was her first answer. I know for a fact she wouldn’t even have thought about it if I hadn’t brought it up. God, why do I have to be such an idiot?!

I suppose, I shouldn’t get mad over things so little as these, but it’s the little things that make me itch.


A Little Bit of Hurt

January 4, 2009

If you really take a good hard look at what the world is like, sometimes I think it is better to be in denial. With these terrible house guests I’ve learned a lot. First of all, I never thought I would meet people so screwed up. I mean if I were one of them I wouldn’t be alive right now. Their mother is a lazy, pot smoking, psycho who doesn’t have a clue how to treat or care for a child.

My dad works at a R&B night club. I thought that was ironic, because my dad hates crowds, loud music, and being up until three in the morning. Though, if you have been out of work for a year then I see where he is coming from. My father had hired Abby as a female bouncer.  One night Libby and Layla are up at five in the morning and my dad arrives home from The Boats and they ask, “Where is our mom?” Abby should have been there way before my father so he replied, “I don’t know.” We never found out where she was or who she was with, but that happened more than once. Abby lied to my family, her daughters, and god knows who else. My dad was fed up with it so we are kicking them out. All I can think is, “FREE AT LAST!!!!!”  Yet, it also makes me sad because whether or not I liked those girls they aren’t better off with or without their mother. My mom said to me, “Honey I don’t think there is going to be a happy ending for these girls.” I’ve been thinking about that since my mother told me that.

Tonight it made me think back to a movie I saw early last year or so. Actually I think it was couple of years ago, I’m not quite sure. Anyway, the movie was called “Grave Of The Fireflies”. grave20of20the20fireflies20dvd1I don’t remember much of it. A boy and his little sister living in Japan at the end of World War II. Their mother dies of burn wounds, their father dies in the war, and in the end his little sister who was only around three or four years of age dies of starvation. Oh yeah, the boy dies too. In the movie that boy loved his litle sister so much, it made me sad she was tooken away from him. The last member left from his family other than himself. I wanted to cry so badly after I saw that movie. Heck, I might have I don’t remember. I couldn’t erase the memories of it that night as I tried to sleep. I wasn’t even old enough to understand it enough, I was just sad the little girl had died. Right now I feel like watching that movie again. It was amazing, poignant, or maybe brutal is a better word, but beautiful. You only need to see this movie a couple times so I am urging you to go read more about it on this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grave_of_the_Fireflies 

Sometimes I think we all need a little bit of hurt in our lives. To prove that we are strong enough to move on without feeling sorrowful our whole lives.